Different Setting, Same Karate Kid

Back when I used to burn dvd’s, because I was a poor college student, I would get frustrated sometimes because my copy of the movie wasn’t as good as the original. I think a lot people feel the same way about movie remakes. They’re trying to take somebody's idea, story, and character, and make it their own. When I heard they were doing a re-make of the classic 1984 film The Karate Kid starring Will Smith's son, Jaden, I felt that another movie franchise was about to be ruined; then I remembered The Next Karate Kid and realized Hilary Swank had already taken care of that. So now it was time for this franchise to make a fresh come back, even if it is the exact same movie.

Jaden Smith plays Dre Parker in this fish out of water story. Dre’s mom takes a job in China and he is forced to move to the other side of the world, away from everyone he knows. While trying to befriend a young girl, Mei Ying, Dre gets his butt whooped by Beijing's bad boys; the first of many whoopings. However Dre is soon saved by the local handy man, Mr. Han, played by Jackie Chan. Now Dre must compete in a kung-fu tournament if he has any chance of avoiding daily beat downs. But first Mr. Han must teach Dre about more than just kung-fu if he is to win the tournament.

That’s right, I said kung-fu. The word ‘karate’ was only spoken once the entire film, which is very odd because most of the other dialogue from the 1984 film was directly quoted. I’m all for revamping classic stories so they can be continued through generations, but to have each scene be a direct copy of the original film is just plain lazy in my book. The only original idea in this film was Dre’s training and Mr. Han’s tragic past. Of course I can’t expect much from director Harold Zwart, whose signature film is Agent Cody Banks. Of all the lines they took from the original film you think they could have worked in the line, “wax on, wax off,” at least somewhere.

The film did have some great moments and great scenes in it, mainly because they were scenes from the original film put into modern day context. And what would a Karate Kid movie be without a good training montage. I was hoping for some variation of the song, ‘You’re the Best Around,’ during the tourney montage, but my wish was left unfulfilled.

You could definitely tell who Smith’s famous father was by his facial expressions. The more emotional scenes Smith seemed to pull off, but when trying to have a look of focus Smith’s face looked blank. This makes me believe he has some acting chops, but needs more practice. Hang in there kid. Take some notes from your dad, but if he ever says it's a good idea for you t play a cowboy run the other direction.

Jackie Chan is known more for his action than his actual acting abilities, and his heroic rescue scene in this film reminded people why Chan is badass. However I was surprised how well Chan pulled off his big emotional scene in the film. You could tell he is a veteran thespian who just hasn’t had much chance to shine. Chan does moves a little faster than the late and great Pat Morita, but his best lines are ones we’ve already heard Mr. Miyagi say before.

I loved The Karate Kid growing up so I knew every scene and line that was taken for this film.  But when I looked through the audience at all the parents who had brought their kids I realized they were rooting for Dre the same way I used to root for Daniel. The Karate Kid films have always been about standing up for yourself, not being afraid, and this movie has it in spades. It’s a great family film, with some great morals like the original film, mainly because it pretty much is the original film.

RATING:  B

The Return of Futurama

Right before I call it a day I can usually find some syndicated sitcom to make me feel all nice and cozy as I crawl into bed. Most of the time it’s either Friends or That 70’s Show, but lately I’ve been warming up to an old favorite of mine that is ready for a comeback. In 1999 The Simpsons creator, Matt Groening, premiered his show about a young man from the present who gets stuck in the future. The journey of this show, like Phillip J. Fry’s journey, hasn’t been an easy one. But new episodes of Futurama will be begin showing on Comedy Central June 24, and I for one cannot wait to see what Fry, Bender, and the rest of Planet Express discover next.

On New Years Eve, 1999, the world was about to enter a new century, but for pizza delivery boy, Phillip J.Fry, it was just another year in his pathetic life. But an accidental delivery to a science lab traps Fry in a cryogenic freezing chamber for 1,000 years and he awakes in the year 2999. Fry locates his nephew’s descendant, Professor Farnsworth, who runs an intergalactic delivery service to help fund his mad scientist ways. Fry takes up a job as a delivery boy, along with his robot roommate, Bender, and a tough-as-nails woman, Leela; who just happens to have one eye. These three go across the galaxy making deliveries as Fry tries to win Leela’s love, and the two of them try to keep Bender from getting too drunk and operating his shady personality. Also employed at Planet Express is the girly intern Amy, the crab alien Dr. Zoidberg, and the Jamaican accountant Hermes. This bunch of losers help make Plant Express the worst delivery service in the galaxy.

To me Bender is the best part of the show. He’s a robot who likes to smoke cigars, drink too much, and swears more than a sailor. That’s the kind of robot I want. My second favorite character has to be the other man who is after Leela’s heart, Captain Zapp Brannigan of the starship Nimbus.  Brannigan is like a bad impersonation of Captain Kirk, who endlessly tries to pursue Leela with little success. You never know what this crew will get into next, like dropping off candy hearts across the stars on Valentines’ Day, fending off a homicidal-robot-Santa on Christmas, or stumbling onto a planet of giant barbarian women who like to fornicate. Welcome to future Phillip J. Fry!

Futurama enjoyed four seasons on Fox’s Sunday Night line-up, getting better ratings its first season than King of the Hill or Family Guy. 72 episodes were aired, but 88 were made.  While on Fox Sundays Futurama won several Emmy awards for outstanding animated programming.  After being taken off the air in 2003 Groening fought hard to continue making Futurama, leading to several direct-to-DVD movies; and in 2008, Comedy Central, who Groening always had a good relationship with, began airing all 88 episodes in syndication. Then, in 2009, Fox agreed to start making Futurama again and airing it on Comedy Central, but there was a snag; the voice actors couldn’t reach an agreement about their salary.

The cast isn’t full of known actors, but people who have been doing voices for quite some time, like Bill West who does the voice of Fry, and also Bug Bunny in Space Jam. Perhaps the most famous voice on Futurama is Katey Segal from the Fox comedy Married With Children, who voices Leela. So after a lot of negotiating, and missing a Comic Con convention, the cast of Futurama is back to provide voices for the future.

I feel very happy about the return of this show mainly because of Matt Groening. The Simpsons has always been a quality show, and this last season, its 21st season, I believe was one of the best. I know most people these days are more interested in the works of Seth MacFarlane’s Family Guy, but their best episode this year involved Brian eating poop from Stewie’s diaper. How is that funny? Groening has always provided solid programming for over 20 years, dating all the way back to the Simpson family’s premiere on The Tracey Ulman Show in 1987.

Being on Comedy Central also means that Groening and the rest of the writers can get away with a few more things than they did on Fox, which I hope means spicing up Bender's rude-and-crude behavior. Just like The Simpsons, Futurama’s beginning credits is always a little bit different in each episode, and the 20th Century Fox logo at the end always say 30th Century Fox. These little things are what help make the show a cult classic, and one that will hopefully last past 2999. Now I leave you with some of my favorite Futurama quotes; enjoy!

Amy Wong: You just have to give guys a chance. Sometimes you meet a guy and think he's a pig, but then later on you realize he actually has a really good body.

Captain Zapp Brannigan: In the game of chess you can never let your adversary see your pieces.

Fry: I'm not a robot like you, I don't like having discs crammed into me... unless they're Oreos... and then only in the mouth.

Fry: Mister Nimoy, I came as soon as I heard what happened centuries ago.

Bender: I was a hero to broken robots 'cause I was one of them, but how can I sing about being damaged if I'm not? That's like Christina Aguilera singing Spanish. Ooh, wait! That's it! I'll fake it!

Leela: I'll find Fry's coffin, get his corpse, and keep it under my mattress to remind me that he's really dead. That'll prove I'm not insane!

Bender: Game's over, losers! I have all the money. Compare your lives to mine and then kill yourselves.

Captain Zapp Brannigan: [after destroying an alien mothership] Well, we destroyed the... what the hell is that?

[a ship materializes out of thin air]

Kif Kroker: It appears to be the mothership, sir.

Captain Zapp Brannigan: Then what did we just blow up?

Kif Kroker: The Hubble Telescope.

25 Girls That Geeks Love: 2010 Edition

This week I cruised into my local book store and did what I always do. I grabbed some comics and magazines I’m interested in but don’t see fit to buy, I read them, and then I put them back on the shelves. It isn’t dignified, but it’s how we bottom feeders survive. Two of the magazines I flipped through were FHM and Maxim’s Hot 100 for 2010. While I feel FHM’s ranking was more to my own taste than Maxim, I couldn’t help but contest with some of their choices. This got me to thinking about my list, and the list of all others like me. And when I say me, I mean geeks. So here are my 25 girls that geeks love in 2010.

25. Laura Vandervoort (Smallville, V)

WHY WE LOVE HER: She flew in from the planet Krypton and made every young man’s heart in Smallville skip a beat. After leaving the show Vandervoot now stars in the ABC's, sci-fi drama, V. She once again plays an alien who comes to Earth, and has some strange feelings for a young human male. Maybe these are the only parts she knows how to play, but her fans don’t seem to mind.

24. Leslie Bibb (Iron Man, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby)

WHY WE LOVE HER: Gwenyth Paltrow may have thrown her out with the rest of the trash, but Bibb’s character kept coming back to challenge Tony Stark throughout the entire film. She wore her outfits like a champ, and wore the bed sheets even better. Will Ferrell couldn’t seem to hold on to this girl in Talladega Nights, so who knows if any other geek has a shot.

23. Katherin Heigl (Roswell, Knocked Up)

WHY WE LOVE HER: Before she starred on the female orgasm known as Grey’s Anatomy Heigl did a little show called Roswell on The WB, where she played an alien in a teenage girl’s body. The highlight though for any nerd is when Heigl gave stoner, Seth Rogen, a chance in Knocked Up.

22. Jewel Staite (Firefly, Serenity, Stargate: Atlantis)

WHY WE LOVE HER: As sweet, innocent, Kaylee on Firefly she was the girl everyone couldn’t help but like, and when the show was cancelled Staite stayed with her fans for several seasons on Stargate: Atlantis. She seems like a sweet girl that will do just about anything for you, but we think she’s the cutest when she has grease on her face.

21. Rachel Bilson (The O.C., Jumper)

WHY WE LOVE HER: Before she played the future Hayden Christensen's love interest in Jumper she was the obsession of uber-dork Seth Cohen on The O.C. Seth loved sailing, comic books, and seeing Summer Roberts in a Wonder Woman costume. He lost Summer on several occasions, but eventually the dork had his day as he married his hottie on the final episode of The O.C. Here’s a little fun fact, Bilson’s dad is comic book writer who has worked on The Flash. So Rachel’s dad writes comic books, she married Anakin Skywalker in real life, and her most well known character loves a comic book geek. What’s not to like about this girl?

20. Rosario Dawson (Sin City, Clerks 2, Men in Black II)

WHY WE LOVE HER: Who else could fall for a guy whose signature line is, “I’m not even supposed to be here today!” Dawson was the boss of Dante and Randal in Kevin Smith’s sequel to Clerks, but before she ran a fast food chain she looked like a dominatrics as she sucked face with Clive Owen in Sin City. Let’s not forget years ago she had googlie eyes for Will Smith, but what woman doesn’t at some point? Dawson seems like the girl who’d give you hell about all your nerdy little quirks, but secretly she’d love you because of them.

19. Elizabeth Banks (Zach and Miri Make A Porno, Spider-Man, The 40-Year-Old Virgin)

WHY WE LOVE HER: You probably didn’t recognize her in Spider-Man as Betty Brant with her wig on, but Banks has been playing the lady who loves dorks for quite a few years. After having a soft spot of Peter Parker she dated uber-geek Zach Braff on Scrubs, tried to seduce Steve Carrell, and then fell in love with Seth Rogen in Zach and Miri Make A Porno. She’s got the girl-next-door vibe down, and she should hold on to it for as long as she can.

18. Eva Mendes (The Spirit, Ghost Rider)

WHY WE LOVE HER: If you didn’t know Eva Mendes was in comic book film don’t worry, you didn’t miss much. The Spirit and Ghost Rider didn’t even come close to films like The Dark Knight or Spider-Man, but I’m sure what little money they made was with the help of Mendes being in the picture. My choice for her next role: Spider-Woman. Let’s bring on the tights!

17. Anna Torv (Fringe)

WHY WE LOVE HER: Fringe is one of those shows that you kind of have to warm up too, and Torv’s character, Olivia Dunham, is no different. But once you get locked in by her scared/venerable look she often gives, you can’t help but fall in love with her. She hunts down the weird, the unexplained, and even alternate versions of herself. She’s like Scully, except she carries a gun and has got more balls than any other character on her show.

16. Charisma Carpenter (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel)

WHY WE LOVE HER: She played the bitchy girl from Sunnydale for years, and even after she switched shows she was still the girl that told it like it is, even if people didn’t want to hear it. Cordelia Chase was the popular cheerleader who ended up with the sarcastic nerd, Xander. When she jumped over to Angel, Cordelia became a more complete character, and even fell in love with the show’s hero. When Angel ended Carpenter gave her fans a treat for all their years of loyal viewing; a Playboy spread.

15. Gina Torres (Firefly, Serenity, Justice League: Unlimited)

WHY WE LOVE HER: If you’ll notice most of the ladies on this list play characters who can whoop some ass, and Gina Torres is no different. As Zoe she played a tough girl from the future who can handle a weapon well, not wince in the face of gross things, and kill her husband using only her pinkie. Torres also voiced the Vixen on the Cartoon Network show, Justice League: Unlimited, for several seasons. Gina Torres has the ability to make men knees before her, even if she has to put them in a death grip to do so.

14. Allison Mack (Smallville)

WHY WE LOVE HER: For nine season’s of Smallville Chloe Sullivan has been Clark Kent’s go-to-girl, and the one person he can turn to with his problems. Chloe had a puppy dog crush on Clark for years, and while some fans hoped for a relationship we all know Clark’s romantic future lye’s with Chloe’s cousin, Lois. It was announced that season ten will be the final season of Smallville. Mack will only appear in a few episodes during the season, but we all will smile a little when Clark comes to Chloe for help.

13. Megan Fox (Transformers, Jonah Hex)

WHY WE LOVE HER: As the hot girl who knew a little about cars, Fox followed Sam Witwciky as he tried to save the world against the evil Decepticons in two Transformers films. Even though she isn’t going to be in the third film she is still going to stay in our sites in this summer’s comic book film, Jonah Hex. I’m not sure what the future has in store for Fox, but if we’re lucky it doesn’t involve clothes.

12. Yvonne Strahovski (Chuck)

WHY WE LOVE HER: As Sarah on NBC’s Chuck, Strahovski made every geek’s fantasy come true when she hooked up with Nerd Herd employee/secret agent, Chuck Bartowski. This love affair started in season one when Strahovski’s character also donned the Princess Leia iron bikini, and ever since every fanboys wish she never took it off. Two seasons later Sarah is still kicking butt and snuggling up to her nerd. God bless her!

11. Blake Lively (Green Lantern, Accepted)

WHY WE LOVE HER: She first appeared on our radar starring opposite Jonah Hill in Accepted, and now she has her own TV show, Gossip Girl. But since no geek dares watch that teen drama we were all excited to hear she will play Ryan Reynolds love interest, Carol Ferris, in next summer’s Green Lantern. We’re looking forward to see this cutie hold her own against the Merc with a Mouth, and perhaps come back for a sequel.

10. Erica Durance (Smallville)

WHY WE LOVE HER: Many women have played Lois Lane, but Erica Durance does it with more sass and style that any other. Lois started out as a rebellious army brat who thought Clark was just a nerdy farmboy. Now, after six seasons on Smallville, Lois and Clark are finally sitting across from each other at the Daily Planet, and occasionally sharing a bed. We’ve seen her in a bikini, we’ve seen her in a striptease, and we’ve also seen her jump out of the cake. And my wife wonders why I still watch Smallville.

9. Eliza Dushku (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Dollhouse)

WHY WE LOVE HER: Sure Buffy is small, spunky, and wears cute outfits, but Faith was the one who made boys blood boil with excitement. She was the bad girl on Buffy the Vampire Slayer for years, and later she was on another Joss Whedon show, Dollhouse, where she could be anyone guys wanted her to be. She’s like the girlfriend who doesn’t mind if you look at online porn.

8. Kaley Cuoco (The Big Bang Theory, Charmed)

WHY WE LOVE HER: After leaving her witchy ways on Charmed behind her, Cuoco moved across from some of the biggest nerds on television, and she even let one of them get all the way around the bases with her. As Penny on The Big Bang Theory we love seeing Ms. Cuoco go head-to-head with Dr. Sheldon Cooper and survive. Penny also got her boyfriend to stop fighting over a Lord of the Rings prop by telling him she bought lingerie from Victoria Secret. Bazinga!

7. Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars, Fanboys, Forgetting Sarah Marshall)

WHY WE LOVE HER: Before starring in her own TV series she did a small film about Star Wars fans, but it wouldn’t be released until after her series ended. She’s played the geeky girl, she’s played the hot girl, but my money is she’s more of a geeky girl in real life. You can just image her playing video games and joking around like one of the guys.

6. Jessica Alba (Fantastic Four, Sin City, Dark Angel)

WHY WE LOVE HER: She rode into our screens on a motorcycle and wearing back, but it wasn’t until she was up on stage dancing with lasso did she find a place in our hearts. In between she’s tried to play the mom of Marvel’s first family with little success. I hope she doesn’t give up the genre, but for now try not to make any more movies with 20th Century Fox.

5. Sarah Michelle Gellar (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

WHY WE LOVE HER: She was one of the first girls to start kicking ass on TV. Instead of being the helpless victim in a vampire attack she was the hero. She saved the world several times, died on numerous occasions, and all while keeping a keen fashion sense. We all pray that a movie will surface some day, but for now we’ll just have to settle for season eight comic books.

4. Malin Akerman (Watchmen)

WHY WE LOVE HER: Nobody had barely heard of Malin Akerman until she strapped on yellow leather to play the Silk Specture in 2009’s comic book masterpiece. Akerman brought boldness to the character, but also kept her grounded with venerability. If nothing else she proves that crime fighting makes chicks hot.

3. Natalie Portman (Thor, V for Vendetta, Star Wars)

WHY WE LOVE HER: She gave birth to the two most famous twins in cinematic history! She played the strong, yet compassionate, wife of Darth Vader in the Star Wars prequels, and then showed us a bit of edge with V for Vendetta. Next year we’ll see her in Marvel Studios Thor.
 

2. Scarlett Johansson (Iron Man 2, The Spirit, Ghost World)

WHY WE LOVE HER: Most people don’t remember Johansson in the 2001’s Ghost World, and most of us would like to forget last year’s The Spirit. But this May she stepped into the Marvel U. as the Black Widow, and made every scene just a little bit hotter by being in it. With her involvement in The Avengers and a possible Nick Fury movie I have a feeling Mrs. Reynolds is going to be on any geeks list for quite some time.

1. Zoe Saldana (Star Trek, Avatar, The Losers)

WHY WE LOVE HER: In 2009 she started out as the reincarnation of Lt. Uhura, and shocked us all when she puckered up to Spock instead of Kirk. The same year she became the female lead in the biggest movie of all time, and this year she played a badass chick in a comic book adaptation. This girl is all attitude, with what seems like a lot of spirit. With sequels to Star Trek and Avatar in the future this girl is going to be on laptop wallpapers for years to come.

My Top 12 Third Film Franchise Movies

When the phenomenon known as Twilight hit theaters teenage girls everywhere swooned to the pale skin of Robert Pattinson. I took this as a time to show these teenie boppers what real vampire films are supposed to be, and listed by top 12 vampire films-of-all-time. A year later the sequel to Twilight, New Moon came out, and the same fans got to see Taylor Lautner all buffed up, but still sounding like he hadn’t hit puberty. I took this as another opportunity to speak my mind and had a monster showdown with some of favorite vampires and werewolves from television and films. The great showdown ended with Blade coming out victorious over Michael from the Underworld franchise.

Now with the third Twilight film weeks away from opening I struggled to find something to write about. Then I remembered an even bigger third film is coming out before Eclipse; Toy Story 3. I loved the first two Toy Story films and can’t wait to see what Wood and Buzz have been up too since we last saw them. That revelation led me to think of my top 12 third film franchise movies. Now if history has shown us anything it’s that the third film destroys the franchise 95% of the time. However, if done right, they can make all three films look like one-giant-mega-saga. I’m not saying my 12 picks do that, or are even that great, but to me these are the lesser of all the other evils.

12) Child’s Play 3 (1991): At the end of Child’s Play 2 we saw Chucky get melted and chopped up into gew at the Good Guy doll factory. But Chucky’s blood just got put into another doll, and years later came back for his little buddy Andy. However Andy was no longer a kid, but a teenager in military school. A psychotic doll in a school full of guns; tell me that tagline doesn’t sell itself? Andy has to be the hero now and stop Chucky’s killing spree before he can find another child whose body to take over.

I like this film because Andy was the victim in the first two films. He was helpless and had to rely on others to save him from Chucky, but now he has to step up and be his own man. Andy has to face down the thing that terrified him as a child. I find it very symbolic as Andy reaches the end of his hero’s journey. He just has to stop Chucky from killing his friends, switching paintball bullets with real ones, and try to get the school’s tough girl to fall in love with him. “Oh Andy, my how you’ve grown.”

11) D3: The Mighty Ducks (1996): After winning the Junior Good Will Games against Iceland the ducks return home to find scholarships to a Minnesota prep school waiting for them. Unfortunately the varsity team looks to make their lives a living hell, and Bombay isn’t going to be there to help them through those rough high school years.

The Mighty Duck movies are why I first started loving hockey, and probably a lot of people my age as well. Gordon had his movies, and now in this film Charlie has to overcome his obstacles, like dealing with the new coach, trying to lead his friends, and not failing out of school. This isn’t the pee-wee leagues anymore; which means the pranks aren’t amateurish either. The first film was by far the best of the trilogy, but I’d put this one over the sequel any day. It’s a whole new game as the ducks head into this third period of play.

10) Blade Trinity (2004): But wait you say; this film sucks! Sure the third film wasn’t as hard core, or as enticing, as its predecessors; but let’s look at it from another angle. Forget the fact this is a Blade film and just remember how funny Ryan Reynolds was, and just how hot Jessica Biel looked when she kicked-ass. Now do you get where I’m coming from? To me this film just needed to forget Blade and have a Nightstalker’s film. Reynolds and Biel hunt down Dracula while trying to end the vampire disease? That could have been a lot more interesting than the broody black guy looking to kill more vampires. I rest my case.

9) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Turtles in Time (1993): The second film I feel was far more inferior than the first TMNT film. I think mainly because it was fluffed up with characters like Keno and tried to be too funny. In the third film Corey Fieldman returns as the voice of Donatello as the fab four head back to ancient Japan to rescue April, and stop an evil samuri empire. Along the way Michelangelo falls in love, Raphael meets someone with a worse temper than he, and Casey Jones is stuck in the present babysitting ancient samuri warriors. It’s a shell of a good time.

There are only so many times you can see the turtles take down the Shredder, so it was refreshing to see the guys have a new adventure. While this film is not as badass as the first film the jokes are a lot better than the second. It’s been reported that the turtles on their way to another live-action movie soon. Cowabunga says it all!

8) The Bourne Ultimatum (2007): After his love interest was killed in the second film the Bourne films take a detour from the books, but nobody who watched movies seemed to mind. In the third installement a reporter is looking to undercover the truth about Treadstone, the agency that made Jason a killer. However it was a set-up and now the CIA is looking to take Bourne down once again. Meanwhile CIA operative Pamela Landy, played by Joan Allen, is helping to piece together Jason’s life.

I like this film because it interweaves with the second film making it all one big story. The first film is still the best, but this one goes into more depth about who Bourne is, and how he became the CIA’s best assassin. Character depth is always one of my favorite things about stories, and this film has it. I just hope the next Bourne film comes out before Matt Damon has too many grey hairs.

7) Naked Gun: 33 1/3: The Final Insult (1994): Leslie Neilsen is back as Frank Drebin of the Police Squad. However Frank has given up his dangerous life to start a family with his wife, played by Priscilla Presley. But when someone threatens to blow up the Academy Award Frank is the only man for the job.

For Airplane to Dracula: Dead and Loving It, anything Leslie Neilson does is hilarious. O.J. Simpson returns to co-star in this film before his famous Branco high speed chase. If you’re looking for a solid, funny, trilogy then these films are the ones than can hold their own. The late Ann-Nicole Smith even makes a cameo as a woman who tries to seduce Frank. Speaking from one man to another I don’t see that being an issue.

6) Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (2005): Ok, so most people think the Star Wars prequels suck, but let’s at least agree that Episode III was the best of the prequels? This was the film that Star Wars fans waited 20 years for, and I for one was only mildy disappointed. From the moment Order 66 was given I thought the film was flawless, especially the Obi-Wan vs. Anakin lightsaber duel. Yes, I even disagree that Vader’s sissy cry was fine. The guy just thought he killed his wife, what was he supposed to do say, “whatever”, and then go about his day?   Sure Anakin’s still whiny, but to quote Kevin Smith, “That’s who the galaxies greatest villain would be. He’d start out as an emo kid with some issues.”

The Star Wars prequel’s was the story about how a good man, with good intentions, turns bad. The prequels may not have been what uber-dorks wanted from their Star Wars, but when you’ve got as much money as George Lucas has you can make films that you want to see, and that’s what he did. That makes him a pimp in my book.

5) Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2009): I think any Underworld fan can agree that this prequel does not disappoint. In the third installment we find out how the war between vampires and lycans (or werewolves) began. It started as a Romeo and Juliet love story, only with vampires and werewolves. Rhona Mitra takes over as the badass beauty for Kate Beckinsale, while Michael Sheen reprises his role as Lucian, the lycan leader. Acting great Bill Nighy also returns as the vampire we love to hate, Victor.

Underworld fans knew the story of how the blood feud began, but this film helps add more detail and personality to the faces of the legend. I’m a fan of medieval films; films that have horse riding and sword fighting. I’m also a fan of vampire and werewolf films. Put those all together in one movie and you’ve got a movie sandwich I’m going to eat up.

4) Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (2003): As I sat in the theater and watched this film there were about six times I got out of my seat towards the end because I thought the movie was over. By the fourth time it was like prom night; just give me a happy ending so I can go home. The ending to this colossal trilogy may have dragged but the film itself was awesome. Frodo and Sam finally make it to Mt. Doom in hopes of destroying the ring before it takes over Frodo completely. Meanwhile, Aragorn must step up to claim the throne of Gondor before Sauron’s forces can destroy the kingdom.

I could make fun of these films till I don’t any more oxygen left, but they really are good films, and a nice way to kill a day; or perhaps a weekend if you watch the extended editions. Return of the King helps put everything to rest, and has some really cool action sequences. Although I was always more interested in the relationship between Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli than Frodo and the ring.  This film aslo gives me my favorite line in the entire trilogy. When Aragorn walks up to the hobbits and says, “My friends, you bow before no one.” Well done Mr. Jackson, well done.

3) National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989): They went across America, they traveled through Europe, but the Griswold’s greatest adventure was in their own front yard. As the family welcomes relatives from all over Clark tries to stay in the Christmas spirit as the holiday slowing tumbles down around him. His Christmas lights won’t work, his tree goes up in flames, and his annoying cousin just won’t seem to leave.

Anyone who has seen this film knows it’s a must watch during the Christmas season. There are some many great scenes and lines I can’t even begin to say them all. Let’s also remember that this was the beginning of two young careers, Juliette Lewis and Johnny Galecki, better known as Leonard from The Big Bang Theory.

2) Back to the Future Part III (1990): My friend Andrew and I once agreed that these last two are the only solid film trilogies that are all great to watch. However, I think we can probably now throw Lord of the Rings into the mix to make it a trinity. When we last left Marty McFly he was stuck in 1955 after seeing the Doc electrocuted and sent back to 1885. As Marty finds Doc from 1955 and prepares to go back to 1985 he finds out that Doc of 1885 is shot violently, and so Marty must go back to save his old friend. Still following the timeline ok? Marty goes back to the old west where he has to learn how to ride a horse, win a shoot-out, and not let his ancestors think he’s a chicken. Meanwhile, Doc isn’t looking to head back to 1985 as he falls in love with a school teacher, played by Mary Steenburgen.

Luckily with some help from a hoverboard it all turns out alright. These films are one of the best to watch all in a row because each picks up exactly where the other left off. The first film is again superior to the last two, but people always seem to argue which of the last two Back to the Future films is better. My money is on this one. Who wants to challenge?

1) Star Wars: Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (1983): There is a reason they call it “The Trilogy.” Because it’s the greatest one there is, and I swear if any LOTR geeks give me grief I will start quoting Clerks 2. In the final episode of the Star Wars saga Luke must figure out what to do with the knowledge that Darth Vader is his father, and he must do it without the help of Master Yoda. But before his confrontation with Vader and the Emperor, Luke must save his friends from the clutches of the gangster, Jabba the Hutt. It’s the final battle for the galaxy, and not everyone is making it out alive.

This film isn’t as gritty as Episode V, but it’s more serious than Episode IV. Luke is no longer a whiny character; he’s a Jedi badass. Sure there are a lot of muppets in this film, but it’s got character revelations, dire situations, and Leia in an iron bikini. How could Star Wars fans not want more after this film ended?

As always I'm open for critcism and comments on what you think of my list.  Will Eclipse and Toy Story 3 help continue their franchises glory, or will they turn them towards what I call Superman and Batman territory?  We'll find out in a few weeks!  Until then, may the force be with us all.

Comic To Read This Week: Superman/Batman Annual #4

Due to the holiday weekend this week’s comics came a day late, and even though these occasions mess with a fans schedule it’s easy to avoid if you’re a veteran collector and know it’s coming. This week I was excited to get to my local comic shop because one of my favorite childhood characters has risen from the dead, and I'm not talking about one of the Brightest Day twelve. Terry McGuiness has returned as Batman! From 1999-2001 the cartoon, Batman Beyond, starred a teenage Terry McGuiness as the Batman of the future with cooler gadgets than the original Batman and sarcastic puns that would make Spider-Man jealous. Mentored by an elderly Bruce Wayne, Terry took on the bad guys of Gotham’s future, and now he is getting his own 6 issue mini-series this year.

Superman/Batman Annual #4 helps re-introduce fans who may have forgotten about Terry, or perhaps need a fresh recap of what his Batman style is like. Drugs are being smuggled into Gotham that have traces of kryptonite in them, which leads Batman to Metropolis to find the man of steel, to and see what’s going on. Metropolis now looks a lot like Gotham; it’s run over with crime and Luthor is serving a lifetime term as mayor. Turns out Lex has been passing out this drug so that Superman can’t get close enough to the criminals to catch them, and he’s about to implement his final attack to get rid of Superman for good. It’s up to Terry to try and help the man of tomorrow re-claim his city from Luthor’s evil paws.

I like futuristic stories, especially dystopian ones. We find Superman without his city, and without Lois, who died years ago. He’s more brooding character now, like Bruce used to be, and it’s different to see him not so hopeful. Seeing characters shaken to their core is always nice for fans, because rarely do you see any actual change from the status quo. This stories takes place after the Batman Beyond series because they reference villains and storylines that were in the old cartoon.

Paul Levitz is best known for his writing on The Legion of Superheroes, which he just took up writing again. I think Levitz has a great sense for writing young heroes, which is why I hope he’ll do well writing the Batman Beyond mini-series as well. When I was reading this issue I could hear Will Friedle(Boy Meets World) talking as Terry once again. Renato Guedes’s art helps show the maturity of not only Terry, but also in the future. Everything just seems old, like it’s been there a while. This could seem odd considering it’s the future, but it’s a broken future, and it’s up to Batman and Superman to fix it.

To me this issue is about Superman accepting Terry as the new Batman, and knowing he’s the right guy for the job. I look forward in a few weeks to see what Levitz has in store for the young dark knight. If we’re all lucky his little mini-series could be Batman Beyond being reborn.