My Top 12 Fictional Brothers

If there is one thing that I’ve learned lately in life it’s that family is important. They are the people who will always be with you, especially your siblings. I grew up with an older brother and he used to be such a pain in the ass! I remember this one time we were fighting over the remote control, so he held me down and just started punching me. But as we’ve grown up I’ve realized that he is the best friend I’ll ever have. He knows everything about me, and I about him. We’ve been through the good and the bad. But, I also know that you don’t have to be blood to be brothers.

12) John and Dan Dorian (Scrubs)

“Hey little brother,” is a phrase I would love to use, but unfortunately being the little brother I don’t get too. Dan always says it to his brother, while he’s scaring the crap out of him, wrestling him to the ground, or coming to tell him their dad has died. Through eight seasons on Scrubs we saw J.D. tell his brother to grow up, and he actually did. Meanwhile Dan made sure J.D. had a good role model, even if it wasn’t him, and bought him a car so he could go visit his child. They’re typical brothers. No one bugs them more, but no one care for them more either.

11) Wolverine and Sabertooth (X-Men)

Talk about dysfunctional. These two take sibling rivalry to a whole new level. Origin writer Paul Jenkins never said that the two were brothers, but in his tale he had a character named Dog, which resembled the beginning of Sabertooth. And in the 2009 film, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, 20th Century Fox ran with that idea. I for one think it fits well so I’m now running with it too.

Sabertooth has always been jealous of Wolverine because he knew he was everyone’s favorite. Their powers are similar, but though Wolverine suppresses his animal side, Sabertooth embraces it. Sabertooth’s jealousy even brought him to kill Wolverine’s lover, Silver Fox. After many years of fighting it all came to an end when Wolverine decapitated Sabertooth with the Muramasa sword. Recently Wolverine’s soul was sent to hell and guess who was there? Nothing like a family reunion to warm your heart. Warm you’re heart, get it?

10) Alvin, Simon, and Theodore (Alvin and the Chipmunks)

The brothers that sing together, stay together, or something like that. These bros. have been doing their thing for almost fifty years now and I doubt they’ll ever stop. They’ve been on trips around the world, created a timeless Christmas song, and starred as CGI animals with Jason Lee and Zachary Levi. Alvin is always up to something and he seems to pull his brothers in with him. Simon is the intellectual one, and Theodore is a slave to his stomach. If it wasn’t for those two I feel like Alvin would have been road kill years ago, but if it wasn’t for Alvin the other two would be the biggest losers alive!

9) Nathan and Peter Petrelli (Heroes)

Both of these guys are out to save the world, but they just have very different ways of doing it. In season one of Heroes, Nathan tried to keep his powers a secret while Peter tried to embrace his. When it came down to the end and it looked like Peter was going to destroy New York it was his brother who saved him.

As the series continued these two were always there for each other, even when they disagreed. I could always feel the mutual love for one other. Even when they were against each other they were always on the same side. When Sylar killed Nathan their mother and Noah Bennet had Nathan’s mind put into Sylar’s body to keep Nathan alive, but it was always doomed to fail. Nathan’s subconscious was eventually driven out as Peter and Nathan had one last moment before Nathan fell to his death. Too bad flying couldn’t save him then.

8) Dick Grayson and Tim Drake (Batman)

Dick Grayson, then Nightwing, went to the circus looking to reminisce in his past, but what he found was a young boy who had a dream of getting the band back together. Tim Drake had done something nobody else had done, he figured out Bruce Wayne was Batman. Not bad for a boy who hadn’t even hit puberty yet. Tim knew Batman needed Robin to tow the line and keep him from going over, but Bruce was still mourning from Jason Todd’s death. Tim had to prove himself, but eventually he became the third Robin.

Since then Dick has been a big brother to Tim. They train together, both growing-up in the crime fighting life, and they bitch to each other about what a hard-ass Batman is. The two have become closer than any brothers, and this was never more apparent than when Bruce supposedly died, leaving both without their surrogate father figure. When a god kills your father it’s always nice to have a brother there.

7) Seth Cohen and Ryan Atwood (The O.C.)

Life in the Orange County was a beach for every kid except Seth Cohen. This comic loving geek got picked on constantly until his dad brought Ryan home after he was caught stealing a car. Ryan was the first person to stand up for Seth and help him calm his neurotic ways. If it wasn’t for Ryan, Seth would never have even showed up on Summer’s radar and they never would have gotten married. I wonder if the rest of the comic book club was in attendance at the wedding?

6) Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, and Michelangelo (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)

What can I say except, Cowabunga! Created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird these brothers have been tearing up the entertainment industry since the mid-80’s. They were mutated by a mysterious ooze and then trained by Splinter in the ways of ninja. But it wasn’t until their highly successful cartoon series in 1986 that the Turtles really took off.

They’ve been in live-action films, CGI films, comic books, and several television series. They are all very different, but “when the evil Shredder attacks, these turtles boys don’t cut him no slack.” Oh come on, you know the lyrics! Word has it another live-action film is on the horizon and as a child of the 80’s I can’t wait to see the boys in green back on the big screen. Turtle Power! “Leonardo leads, Donatello does machine. Raphael is cool, but rude. Michelangelo is a party dude!”

5) Vincent and Johnny “Drama” Chase (Entourage)

Johnny always looks out for his baby bro, from making sure he has a good breakfast every morning, to kicking anybodies ass who bad mouths his brother’s films. Johnny started out as the star, but when his career went sour it was Vince who rose to be the Hollywood blockbuster. Vince is there to support Johnny by helping him hook-up with ladies, and re-start his career. Meanwhile, Johnny helps Vince when he feels blue. Let’s just hug it out now bitch.

4) Rex, Speed, and Spritle Racer (Speed Racer)

Speed was just Spritle’s age when he saw his brother die right before his very eyes. He idolized his big brother so much that it’s part of the reason be became a race car driver himself. But Rex didn’t die, he faked his death to save his family and become Racer X. Racer X takes down villains and along the way tries to protect his brother Speed, and likewise. While they defeat the bad guys Spritle and Chim-Chim occasionally catching a ride, causing all kinds of mischief. Speed doesn’t know his brother is alive, but I think deep down he knows his brother is always watching over him.

3) Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker (Star Wars)

When you go through ten years of training and missions followed by a three-year-war together you become very close, and that’s why Anakin’s betrayal hurt Obi-Wan so much. Obi-Wan never wanted Anakin to even become a Jedi, but he made a promise to his dying master. Anakin was wreck less, arrogant, and always seemed to know just how good he really was. But you could always tell with every act of disobedience of Obi-Wan there was also an act of love to go along with it.

Anakin’s attachment for his mother and wife helped him fall to the dark side of The Force, which concluded in an epic battle between the old friends that ended in Anakin’s own damnation. They met years later on the Death Star, where Darth Vader got his revenge. But Obi-Wan went on to become more powerful than Anakin could possibly imagine.

2) Scott, Alex, and Gabriel Summers (X-Men)

When Scott and Alex jumped out of that plane, leaving their parents to their own fate, they never knew what lives they had ahead of them, or that they had a younger brother. Scott and Alex went into foster care, became mutants, and both found their way to Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters. Alex has swayed several times from good to bad, sometimes being jealous of Scott, but eventually returning to his brother’s side. But then the third Summers brother revealed himself.

When Scott and Alex’s parents were captured by the Shi’ar they killed their mother, but not before taking the baby out of her womb. For years Gabriel was a slave to the Shi’ar until his mutant powers developed and he broke free. Xavier helped re-unite the brothers until tragedy struck. Xavier erased Gabriel from Scott’s mind to spare him the pain of his brother's death, but Gabriel returned very powerful and exposed the truth. He vowed revenge on Xavier and the Shi’ar. He went to space looking to destroy the Shi’ar. Xavier, Alex, and a handful of X-Men followed.

The boys father, Corsair, now a space pirate, joined the small band of X-Men to stop his son, but his own child was his end. Gabriel seized control of the Shi’ar Empire and killed his father in the process. While Xavier returned to Earth to help Scott lead the mutant race from becoming extinct Alex stayed in space to fight, stop, and possibly kill his own brother. Good stuff, eh? And this doesn’t even include the boys love lives. That’s a whole blog unto itself.

1) Sam and Dean Winchester (Supernatural)

Of course it’s fate that my own brother turned me on to the greatest brother duo of them all. Years ago their mother found a demon hovering over Sam’s crib. Then their father walked in and found his wife burning to death. He took the boys and got out, and then spent the next 20 years trying to find the demon that killed his wife. But it was his sons that completed that mission, and along the way they’ve killed a lot of monsters in between.

They cruise the country hunting monsters, blasting classic rock, and driving a 1967 Chevy Impala. It’s every boy’s fantasy. Unfortunately Sam and Dean’s fates were decided for them long ago, back when their mother made a deal with the devil, literally. Come Armageddon Dean was to be the vessel for the angel Michael, and Sam the vessel of Lucifer. The boys refused, which pissed God and all his angels off, but they eventually stopped Judgment Day from happening.

Their adventures started out simple and continue to get much bigger as the seasons go on. They are each other’s one weakness, and every supernatural being knows it. They've both been to hell and back, but they are there for each other no matter what. I think if you’re not willing to go to hell for your brother then you’re not allowed to call them that.



Theater Review: The Losers

Before the summer movie season kicks off audiences are treated to a film with a lot of style, action, and a really hot girl with a really big gun.  The Losers is based on the comic book by Vertigo comics, which is a subsidiary company of DC comics.  I have never read The Losers, but thanks to the character breakdowns in this month Wizard magazine I had a little bit of an idea of what I was walking into.  This film has a lot of faces you’ll recognize, even if you can’t remember their names. 

Jeffery Dean Morgan plays Clay, a colonel who leads his team on all kinds of secret and dangerous missions for the CIA.  When they are betrayed by someone named Max the losers are thought dead until they can take their revenge.  Enter Aisha, played by Zoe Saldana.  Aisha gets the losers back into the U.S. and funds their operation to get their lives back and take down Max.  But they’d better hurry because Max, played by Jason Patric, has some special weapons of destruction he can’t wait to set off.

This film is a glorified action movie in every sense of the word.  Of course there are explosions and a lot of gun fire, most of which are done in slow motion.  The thing about slow motion shots is that if there are too many in a film they start to loose their meaning, and I think this film just went a hair over.  Some of the camera movements were also a little too much.  If you get a close up of a fight sequence while they are fighting the audience’s eyes hurt and you can’t tell what you’re looking at.  Didn’t anybody learn anything from Transformers? 

Now that the cons are out of the way I can talk about the pros. This movie is about what I expected as far as it being a guy's movie.  It’s got gun fights, explosions, some badass characters, a sprinkle of comedy, and topped off by a hot chick who is naked throughout half the film.  Not to ruin the ending but I think the film makers are looking for a franchise, which will make three for Zoe Saldana in the past year.  She could only play three characters for the next ten years and be ok.

I enjoyed Jason Patric as the villain who likes to laugh and be goofy.  I think those kinds of villians are much more sinister because they know they are so untouchable they can just laugh things away.  Jeffery Dean Morgan played a great commanding presence as the leader of the group, and Columbus Short is starting to grow on me as an actor who can do some good work.

Of course the main person I payed the most attention to was Chris Evans, and if you don’t know why then you obviously haven’t had a conversation with me in the last month.  Evans goes into his type cast role as the funny man of the group.  He plays the part well, and I never really have any complaints about his performance.  There was even a moment in the film where he sang a Journey song and Lisa leaned into me saying, “That’s what you look like when you sing this song.”  But my favorite part of the entire film had nothing to do with the actual storyline. It was the first shot of the film with Chris Evans doing a voice over as the camera starts off on a white star and blue background.  The camera then zooms out to show the American flag.  I just want to know if director Sylvain White put that shot in before or after Evans got the part of Captain America?

This film doesn’t have a lot of sophistication to it, but it’s got what people love to see at the movies.  I hope they do make a sequel to this film because I’m interested to see where the characters go.  I just might have to track down a few The Losers comics after all.  

Rating:  B- 

Theater Review: Clash of the Titans in 3-D

Months ago I saw a preview for this film, and having just finished reading the popular Percy Jackson book series I was psyched to see it. My intrigue took me to my Instant Netflix, where the original Clash of the Titans can be watched. Five minutes in I knew the film was going to be cheesy and dumb compared to films today. And the 1981 film was cheesy, had horrible effects, and too many pretty boys playing warriors. So what's the excuse for this 2010 remake?

For years man has grown tired of the God's wrath. They choose no longer to worship them and try to wage war instead. Zeus, king of gods and maker of humans, agrees to let his brother Hades, lord of the Underworld, reign terror on the city of Argos by unleashing the deadly Kraken unless the princess is sacrificed to the gods. Little does Zeus know that Hades plans to use this destruction to de-thrown his brother and take over Olympus, home of the Gods.

Enter Perseus, a young fisherman whose family has just been killed by Hades. Perseus soon finds out he is part god, but denies his own father, Zeus. Instead he agrees to lead a band of warriors to destroy Hades before the Kraken attacks Argos. Along the way Perseus must fight off Hades' monsters, men who cannot die, and the sinister Medusa.

The plot starts out moving extremely fast in order to get Perseus, played by Sam Worthington, to Argos. It moves so fast I didn't even care that his family was dead, let alone his surrogate father who took care of him for twenty years. The dialogue also moved just like the story with actors saying their lines so fast there was no resonance to their meaning. Everything, including the action sequences, ran so quickly I had no time to care about most of the characters before they met tragic ends.  This made it hard to get pulled into a story when I didn't care about the people in it.

However, half way through the film things started to slow down. Perseus' goals became fewer and the actors lines had more meaning. Unfortunately it was too late. What could have been a great film was only a mediocre film thanks to the rushing of our hero's origin and useless characters.

This film was supposed to come out in mid-March, but after Avatar hit it big the film's release date was pushed back as crew spent ten weeks converting the film into 3-D. Man was that a waste! Sure the scene with Perseus flying on his pegasus was cool, but that was about the only scene you needed 3-D for. The special effects and set design were great, but the conversion of 3-D took away from some of that imagery, which made it look like sloppy camera shots.

After playing in two recent adventure films I think it's safe to say Sam Worthington is now a bona fide action star. Like the rest of the film, when the second half slowed down Worthington's performance got better, but I don't think he's close to winning an Oscar, or even a Kids Choice Award.

Liam Neeson played Zeus with a great commanding elegance, but the show stealer was Ralph Fiennes as Hades. His performance was enhanced by the great effects crew members added to make his character look like a creepy angel of death.

Director Louis Leterrier, who recently directed The Incredible Hulk, seemed to have a good vision for this world, but pacing is what hurt this film; in story, dialogue, and 3-D processing. For future reference Hollywood, just because the highest grossing film ever was in 3-D does not mean I want to see every film in 3-D. I am not seeing Schindler's List in 3-D so you can just forget it Spielberg!

GRADE:  C-