My Top 12 Characters in the Last 12 Years

Memorial Day has several meaning to me at my place of business. First, the summer sale kicks off, meaning more work with no increase in pay. Second, the air conditioning will need maintenance just as it gets unbearably hot outside. Finally, we will be incredibly slow as everyone is either out of town or too lazy to leave their A/C-ice-castles for desert-like temperatures. I took this time to browse through Entertainment Weekly’s 100 Characters of the Last 20 Years, and I found their decision for Homer Simpson as number #1 a solid choice. Although I can’t think of 100 character I even enjoy watching on TV or up on the big screen, I was able to think of twelve that always keep me entertained.

12.) Brian Griffin (Family Guy): Everyone loves Stewie, a baby who has the personality of a super villain, but Brian is the reason I tune in every week. He’s a dog, but he’s the smarted one in his family. He is love with his best friend’s girl, and he’s a hardcore liberal. After working on a book for several years, that was a flop he now spends his days either getting drunk with Peter, or going on adventures with Stewie. He’s the voice of reason in an idiotic world. Other times he’s a horny drunk who wants to tell everyone off. He’s the every man, but he’s man’s best friend.

11.) Wesley Wyndam Pryce (Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel): Out of all of Joss Whedon’s characters I love his transformation the best. He started on Buffy as a wimpy Watcher who was sent to replace Giles, then came over to Angel as a rougue demon hunter. Since then he betrayed his friends, lost the love of his life, and almost killed his father. In 5 seasons of television Wesley went from book worm to badass.

10.) Juno MacGuff (Juno): In middle of trying to figure out life she found out she had one inside of her. Juno loves her Sunny D. and, for some reason, Paulie Bleeker. She always seems to see a bright side, but with a twist. Ellen Page helped add so much depth to this character Juno seemed to have a part of every girl I knew, but like no one I’d ever met.

9.) Dr. Gregory House M.D. (House M.D.): I’m not one for medical shows, but for years I’ve tuned in to Fox to see just what insults House will give his next patient. He’s smarter than everyone, and he knows it, but he still can’t do a good self-examination. He was hooked on pain killers, and when he got out of rehab he went right back to driving everyone insane with cynicism.

8.) Kaylee Frye (Firefly & Serenity): Everyone loves the quirky pilot, Wash, but who really holds Serenity together? Why the mechanic of course. Kaylee first boarded Serenity to get some action, and has been keeping the crew’s spirits flying ever since. She’s a wiz with machines, but enjoys fancy parties and fluffy dresses. Whether it’s crushing on the young doctor, or helping heist a train Kaylee is always in a positive mood. She’s the sweet girl-next-door with grease on her face, and what’s more hot than that?

7.) Professor Albus Dumbledore (Harry Potter franchise): One generation got Gandolf as their fantasy mentor; after him was Obi-Wan Kenobi; and now this generation will be hearing Dumbledore’s wisdom in their heads to guide them through life. Helping steer Harry through seven books Professor Dumbledore always seemed to be ahead of everyone else, and knew exactly what to do. He also kept a phoenix as a pet, which is just awesome. At the end of The Half-Blood Prince I believe he became one with The Force like Obi-Wan and then was able to come back to Harry in The Deathly Hallows. Anyone with me on this?

(my wife would have killed me had I used a picture of the other actor who played A.D.)

6.) Dr. Sheldon Cooper (The Big Bang Theory): He’s that annoying friend everyone has, and they’re never quite sure why they hang out with him. For most of my friends I would be that guy. He has no interest outside of science, comics, and Battlestar Galactica. He likes to let everyone know how much smarter he is than them and has no interest in any kind of intercourse. I think even Temperance Brennan would find him odd, but that would be a classic meeting of the brains there. The fact that Leonard, Raj, Howard, have not killed Sheldon yet either says a lot about their self-control, or just how little friends they have.

5.) McLovin (Superbad): When a young boy by the name of Fogell took on the alter-ego of McLovin an entire country was turned upside down. Even in his recent film, Kick-Ass, I couldn’t help wait for Christopher Mintz-Plasse to say some classic line like, “yeah, what up gangstas.” Fogell is just a nerd who thinks he’s cool, but McLovin is a guy who can party with cops and sleep with the smokin red-head. Chica-chica yeah!

4.) Barney Stinson (How I Met Your Mother): This is the man that made high fives and laser tag cool again. Neil Patrick Harris is the perfect supporting character that sleeps with everyone woman he sees, and abides by The Bro Code. Bro Code Article 2: A Bro is always entitled to do something stupid, as long as the rest of his Bros are doing it.

Barney once dressed up as an 80-year-old man just to prove he’ll be able score with women when he is that age. But Mr. Stinson isn’t all sexist and selfish. He was the one person who went all the way to San Francisco to bring back Lilly after she left Marshall in the rain. Years from now Barney Stinson will go down in TV history as legen, wait for it, dary! Legendary!

3.) Heath Ledger’s Joker (The Dark Knight): When I first heard Ledger was going to be The Joker I couldn’t help but cringe. His accent in Brokeback Mountain was horrific and I did not want him sullying the comic book genre. People wondered how his performance would compare to the iconic Jack Nicholson Joker.  However after the opening night of The Dark Knight he definitely put a smile on my face. Ledger turned heads as a down-to-earth Joker nobody had even thought of before. His accent was flawless, his character was interesting, and his dialogue was classic. The performance even earned him a Golden Globe and an Oscar. Unfortunately Mr. Ledger was taken before his time, but man what a way to go out.

2.) Seth Cohen (The O.C.) Ok, let’s be honest. If you’ve ever met me you know the reason I like Seth Cohen is because I pretty much am Seth Cohen. Well, him or Eric Foreman. Nobody tuned in to watch Mischa Barton. People watched The O.C. to see the guy who made comic books cool, and watch him try and win Rachel Bilson’s character with proclamations of love while standing on kissing booths and hot dog stands . Seth and Summer also re-created the classic Spider-Man, upside down, in the rain, kiss.

Seth Cohen was constently voicing his opinion to anyone who would listen, which is why his pairing with the silent bad boy, Ryan, make them the perfect teenage duo. The O.C. was cancelled after four seasons, but I stopped watching it after season two. In the final episode’s montage Seth is seen getting married to Summer and living happily ever after.

1.) Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy): There is no doubt that Johnny Depp is a great actor, but everyone was surprised when he played a pirate so out there that nobody could have written this character. Some say he was little weird, a little not right in the head, or even a little gay. In any event Jack Sparrow is a guy who always come out on top in every situation, even if he has to slime his way out. On the surface his comes off as a bloody good pirate, but underneath lyes the morality of good man. He’s face down sea monsters, ghosts, and even several versions of himself.

It is said that Depp based his performance on Keith Richards, which of course means that no one could play Sparrow’s father in the third Pirates film except the late rocker himself. In any event, Depp made pirates cool and talking with a funny accent alright. Hoist up the sails and open your compass because it’s a pirate's life for me.