By the power of Grayskull the 80’s are making a massive comeback, at least the cartoons are. Transformers has tore up the box office with three films, there is a second G.I. Joe film coming out this summer, and Voltron and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are on their way back, starting with a new comic book series each. I can feel the childhood nostalgia bubbling in my stomach. But let’s not forgot the most powerful man of the 80’s; He-Man. Along with the Masters of the Universe he dominated with his classic cartoon, toy line, a less than successful film in 1987, and spawned a spin-off series, She-Ra the Princess of Power. A live action film done right could really make sci-fi geeks swoon. Here is the original 1983 series opening theme.
After the original series was long gone The New Adventures of He-Man popped up in 1990 with much less success. But Cartoon Network tried again in 2002 with a more updated, and hipper, He-Man cartoon. I found it quite entertaining and would have enjoyed it more if I wasn’t 18 years-old when it came out.
Never the less I think a He-Man movie that has qualities like Lord of the Rings would kill it. The 1987 film, Masters of the Universe, was a flop because they forgot to follow the formula. It was all about He-Man and not his real identity, Prince Adam. Plus going to Earth was a hug flaw. If they would have kept it in Eternia it would have had a massive following. The cast wasn’t half bad though for the film. Dolph Lundgren was a decent He-Man but he just didn’t have an Adam to go with him, and Frank Langella as Skeletor was perfect. Now meet my cast for He-Man and the Masters of the Universe.
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as He-Man
He may have dropped “The Rock” in his name but to some of he will always be the wrestling star turned action hero. He started off in The Mummy Returns and has since made a bunch of silly kiddie films like The Game Plan and Tooth Fairy. But with his badass-ness on the rise with a role in Fast Five and playing Roadblock in the upcoming G.I. Joe: Retaliation, I think The Rock has the look, the muscles, and the acting chops to be the most powerful man in the universe. I just hope he likes the outfit.
Jeremy Sumpter as Prince Adam
I first saw Sumpter in the 2003 version of Peter Pan and was quite impressed with his skill as a childish brat. But then he went on to carry that same quality in his short appearance on one of my new favorite shows, Friday Night Lights. Adam is prince of Eternia who has never had a real problem his whole life. Until Skeletor and his minions show up and Adam has to learn about responsibility and power. It could be a real coming-of-age tale.
Kate Mara as Teela
She’s never really had a major role, just minor ones like in films 127 Hours and Iron Man 2, but she’s moving up in Hollywood with her role in FX Network’s new hit series, American Horror Story. She’s cute, she’s athletic, and she can act; I think. She’d be great opposite Sumpter and Johnson. Much like Margot Kidder played Lois Lane, Teela is over-dominating when it comes to the prince, and head-over-heels for the strong superhero, who just happen to be the same person.
Tom Selleck as Man-At-Arms
It’s Tom F%#king Selleck. I rest my case.
Tilda Swinton as The Sorceress of Castle Grayskull
In the 2002 version Prince Adam is called to Castle Grayskull in midst of a battle and The Sorceress gives him the Power Sword, saying it is his destiny and birthright to become He-Man. The Sorceress is the keeper of all the secrets and powers of Castle Grayskull, and the one thing Skeletor wants most. Swinton in real life seems pretty weird but there is no denying her phenomenal acting ability. She’s played a witch in The Chronicles of Narnia franchise, so why not a sorceress.
Hugo Weaving as Skeletor
Weaving has made his way in this industry with roles like Mr. Smith in The Matrix trilogy, and Elrond the elf in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. But last summer we saw him as the Red Skull in Captain America: The First Avenger. I think he should just keep the skull on, but paint it yellow. We’re talking about an actor who is starting to make it a career of playing great villains. He’s even done the voice of Megatron for all three Transformers films. He can certainly handle the evil Eternia villain whose bark is worse than his bite.
Rose McGowan as Evil-Lyn
I never watched Charmed, I thought Jawbreaker was stupid, but I think McGowan has the look and feel of Evil-Lyn. I always felt like the character was on Skeletor’s side because she was jealous of the Sorceress’s power. In some cases she seemed smarter than Skeletor so I’m not sure why she wasn’t in charge of Beast Man and the other cronies. Although I don’t know if she could do better than Meg Foster in Masters of the Universe; that was pretty much an awesome Evil-Lyn.
So there you have folks; my dream team to bring He-Man back to live action. I would definitely include Orko the magician and not Gwildor who was just a sad excuse for Orko. The obstacle I feel would be Cringer/Battle Cat. I don’t think you could get a real tiger to cooperate, let alone paint him green. However I’m not sure a CGI tiger would be believable, but hey, if they can make CGI apes that scare the crap out of me anything is possible I guess. And now, I end you all with another video treat. Enjoy!
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