Casting Call: He-Man and the Masters of the Universe

By the power of Grayskull the 80’s are making a massive comeback, at least the cartoons are. Transformers has tore up the box office with three films, there is a second G.I. Joe film coming out this summer, and Voltron and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are on their way back, starting with a new comic book series each. I can feel the childhood nostalgia bubbling in my stomach. But let’s not forgot the most powerful man of the 80’s; He-Man. Along with the Masters of the Universe he dominated with his classic cartoon, toy line, a less than successful film in 1987, and spawned a spin-off series, She-Ra the Princess of Power. A live action film done right could really make sci-fi geeks swoon. Here is the original 1983 series opening theme.

After the original series was long gone The New Adventures of He-Man popped up in 1990 with much less success. But Cartoon Network tried again in 2002 with a more updated, and hipper, He-Man cartoon. I found it quite entertaining and would have enjoyed it more if I wasn’t 18 years-old when it came out.

Never the less I think a He-Man movie that has qualities like Lord of the Rings would kill it. The 1987 film, Masters of the Universe, was a flop because they forgot to follow the formula. It was all about He-Man and not his real identity, Prince Adam. Plus going to Earth was a hug flaw. If they would have kept it in Eternia it would have had a massive following. The cast wasn’t half bad though for the film. Dolph Lundgren was a decent He-Man but he just didn’t have an Adam to go with him, and Frank Langella as Skeletor was perfect. Now meet my cast for He-Man and the Masters of the Universe.

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as He-Man

He may have dropped “The Rock” in his name but to some of he will always be the wrestling star turned action hero. He started off in The Mummy Returns and has since made a bunch of silly kiddie films like The Game Plan and Tooth Fairy. But with his badass-ness on the rise with a role in Fast Five and playing Roadblock in the upcoming G.I. Joe: Retaliation, I think The Rock has the look, the muscles, and the acting chops to be the most powerful man in the universe. I just hope he likes the outfit.

Jeremy Sumpter as Prince Adam

I first saw Sumpter in the 2003 version of Peter Pan and was quite impressed with his skill as a childish brat. But then he went on to carry that same quality in his short appearance on one of my new favorite shows, Friday Night Lights. Adam is prince of Eternia who has never had a real problem his whole life. Until Skeletor and his minions show up and Adam has to learn about responsibility and power. It could be a real coming-of-age tale.

Kate Mara as Teela

She’s never really had a major role, just minor ones like in films 127 Hours and Iron Man 2, but she’s moving up in Hollywood with her role in FX Network’s new hit series, American Horror Story. She’s cute, she’s athletic, and she can act; I think. She’d be great opposite Sumpter and Johnson. Much like Margot Kidder played Lois Lane, Teela is over-dominating when it comes to the prince, and head-over-heels for the strong superhero, who just happen to be the same person.

Tom Selleck as Man-At-Arms

It’s Tom F%#king Selleck. I rest my case.

Tilda Swinton as The Sorceress of Castle Grayskull

In the 2002 version Prince Adam is called to Castle Grayskull in midst of a battle and The Sorceress gives him the Power Sword, saying it is his destiny and birthright to become He-Man. The Sorceress is the keeper of all the secrets and powers of Castle Grayskull, and the one thing Skeletor wants most. Swinton in real life seems pretty weird but there is no denying her phenomenal acting ability. She’s played a witch in The Chronicles of Narnia franchise, so why not a sorceress.

Hugo Weaving as Skeletor

Weaving has made his way in this industry with roles like Mr. Smith in The Matrix trilogy, and Elrond the elf in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. But last summer we saw him as the Red Skull in Captain America: The First Avenger. I think he should just keep the skull on, but paint it yellow. We’re talking about an actor who is starting to make it a career of playing great villains. He’s even done the voice of Megatron for all three Transformers films. He can certainly handle the evil Eternia villain whose bark is worse than his bite.

Rose McGowan as Evil-Lyn

I never watched Charmed, I thought Jawbreaker was stupid, but I think McGowan has the look and feel of Evil-Lyn. I always felt like the character was on Skeletor’s side because she was jealous of the Sorceress’s power. In some cases she seemed smarter than Skeletor so I’m not sure why she wasn’t in charge of Beast Man and the other cronies. Although I don’t know if she could do better than Meg Foster in Masters of the Universe; that was pretty much an awesome Evil-Lyn.

So there you have folks; my dream team to bring He-Man back to live action. I would definitely include Orko the magician and not Gwildor who was just a sad excuse for Orko. The obstacle I feel would be Cringer/Battle Cat. I don’t think you could get a real tiger to cooperate, let alone paint him green. However I’m not sure a CGI tiger would be believable, but hey, if they can make CGI apes that scare the crap out of me anything is possible I guess. And now, I end you all with another video treat. Enjoy!

Animated Series That Deserve A Come-Back!

This month Cartoon Network has a premiere I’m more excited for than any Hollywood blockbuster coming to the theaters this summer. A remake of the 80’s classic cartoon Thundercats will air its hour-long pilot episode on July 29. It seems that there will be a few things different about this revamp from the original series, but I’ll be damned if I’m not excited for it. Thundercats was my favorite cartoon as a child, so even in my 20’s you can bet I’ll be buying the new Sword of Omens when I find it. Rumors swirled for years there was going to be a Thundercats CGI movie made, but it turned into a TV series instead. I hope this paves the way for other 80’s/early 90’s cartoons that need to be revived. Here are a few I can name off the top of my head.

10. Captain N: The Game Master (1989)

 When the original Nintendo became a phenomeon people decided to cash in on the craze. One way was a cartoon about a gamer named Kevin, and his dog Duke, who get sucked into Videoland through his Nintendo. Kevin was summoned by Princess Lana to help defeat Mother Brain using the Nintendo blaster gun and controller, which granted him special powers. The N Team consist of Nintendo characters Simon Belmont, Mega Man, and Kid Icarus. Even Link from The Legend of Zelda made appearances, and eventually the portable Nintendo system Gameboy was worked into the show.

I think this would make a great time-piece film where it has to be the original Nintendo, and not an updated version. If you make Videoland full of Nintendo characters, anyone who ever played a Nintendo in their life will come to see it!

9. Silverhawks (1986)

 After the success of Thundercats the creators took on another series about five space policeman who were sent to the part of the galaxy known as Limbo to defeat the evil MonStar. The theme of the show was "partly metal, partly real". The Silverhawks could fly in space using this metal wings, and laser beams that shot out of their shoulders. One of them was even a country bluegrass pilot. This series could be a little silly, but still better than most of the cartoons I see being made these days.

8. Gargoyles (1994-1996)

In Scotland 994, the Gargoyles protected Castle Wyvern from Viking raiders. They were protectors at night, but during the day were stone, until betrayal causes a massacre of the clan during their stone sleep . A spell was cast on the six survivors putting them to "Sleep, until the castle rises above the clouds." In present day, a billionaire named David Xanatos purchases the castle and moves the crumbling remains, piece by piece, to the top of New York City and awakens the Gargoyles in modern day.  The Gargoyles must adapt to their new surroundings as they vow to protect the citizens of New York.

Does that sound like a badass movie or what? The voice casting for this series was great with Keith David, Ed Asner, and Star Trek: TNG star Jonathan Frankes all lending their talents. The ensemble of the six gargoyle personalities is enough to make this series great, not to mention Xanatos is a villian who could give even Lex Luthor a run for his money.

7. The Real Ghostbusters (1986-1991)

I'm not talking out the Filmation one with the giant monkey. While there have been two films, as well as a cartoon series, I think it's time for a reboot. The original films were a great blend of humor, fantasy, and action. If it can be recaptured again this franchise could be reborn.

6. Captain Planet and the Planeteers (1990-1996)

Go Planet! With Hollywood and the rest of the world going green these days why not make a film or television series about it. "Gaya (voiced by Whoopi Goldberg) the Spirit of Earth, can no longer stand the terrible destruction plaguing our planet. She sends five magic rings to five special young people, Kwami (voiced by LeVar Burton), from Africa, with the power of Earth. From North America, Wheeler, with the power of Fire. From the Russia, Linka, with the power of Wind. From Asia, Gi, with the power of Water. And from South America, Mah-Ti, with the power of Heart. When these five powers combine they summon earth’s greatest champion, Captain Planet."

They don't make them like this anymore kids, and with an assortment of villians from Duke Nukem to Hoggish Greedley this could be a great film trilogy. The five planeteers come from five parts of the Earth. It could be not only be a franchise about saving the planet, but about cultural differences. I rest my case.

5. The Legend of Zelda (1989)

Sure most movies based on video games suck, but do this thing right and it would be like a Lord of the Rings-type film. Link is a great leading character, and the bickering between him and Princess Zelda in the cartoon series provided some funny banter. I’m just wondering why this film hasn’t been made yet?

4. He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (1983-1985)

Forget the 1987 film with Dolph Lundgren and Courtney Cox. Everyone is allowed one bad movie early in their career. Stick with what worked in the original cartoon. A skinny, white, prince picks up a magic sword and turns into a big, buff, black guy. He-Man can fight Skeltor for control of Eternia with such classic sidekicks as Man-At-Arms, the bumbling magician Orko, and He-Man's mode of transportation, Battle Cat. Several other He-Man series were made in 1990 and 2002, but didn’t catch on like the original one. Word has it a film is already in pre-concept stages, but let's hope it doesn't involve anything called "The Key".

3. The Real Adventures of Jonny Quest (1996)

What little boy didn't grow up wishing to be Jonny Quest? He travels the world with his billionaire dad looking for adventure. They are accompanied by their bodyguard Race Bannon, Jonny’s best friend Haji, and their dog Bandit. The Quest family had some badass adventures. I know this series was based on the 1964 cartoon series, but this remake was what I watched when I was a kid. In this version they also added a new character, Race's daughter, Jessie. Jonny, Jessie, and Haji could be the new Harry, Hermione, and Ron. And while Questworld seemed silly at the time, I can just picture it now with Tron: Legacy graphics!

2. Mighty Max (1993-1995)

Based on the popular toys, Mighty Max was about a smartass kid who becomes the capbearer and can travel through worlds trying to defeat the SkullMaster, who wants the magical hat for himself. Along the way Max is accompanied by Virgil, the wise chicken, and his Conan the Barbrarian-like bodyguard, Norman. A series like this has a Harry Potter-style written all over it. My only concern would be making a CGI chicken to communicate with. But if they can make Yoda CGI real I guess Virgil could work.

1. Exo-Squad (1993-1995)

Not too many people know about this 90's animated show. It was on Sunday mornings, so most of us were in church, but it was a goodie. Set in the 22nd Century, humans have created a new being called Neo Sapiens that are much stronger than humans, and they use them to collimate Mars and Venus, but when the Neo Sapiens revolt it's a full-scale civil war. Lt. J.T. Marsh commands Able Squad, a group intent on defeating the Neo Sapiens using machines called E-Frames. These things were like what Ripley had at the end of Aliens except can fly in space, and have a crap load of weapons. Although Able Squad spent quite a bit of time out of their E-Frames the drama and action of this series was epic. This series had a very serious tone for a cartoon, and dealt with racism, tolerance, and had epic space battles. If you like Star Trek, Firefly, or enjoy a good space tale check it out at Hulu.com.