Casting Call: He-Man and the Masters of the Universe

By the power of Grayskull the 80’s are making a massive comeback, at least the cartoons are. Transformers has tore up the box office with three films, there is a second G.I. Joe film coming out this summer, and Voltron and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are on their way back, starting with a new comic book series each. I can feel the childhood nostalgia bubbling in my stomach. But let’s not forgot the most powerful man of the 80’s; He-Man. Along with the Masters of the Universe he dominated with his classic cartoon, toy line, a less than successful film in 1987, and spawned a spin-off series, She-Ra the Princess of Power. A live action film done right could really make sci-fi geeks swoon. Here is the original 1983 series opening theme.

After the original series was long gone The New Adventures of He-Man popped up in 1990 with much less success. But Cartoon Network tried again in 2002 with a more updated, and hipper, He-Man cartoon. I found it quite entertaining and would have enjoyed it more if I wasn’t 18 years-old when it came out.

Never the less I think a He-Man movie that has qualities like Lord of the Rings would kill it. The 1987 film, Masters of the Universe, was a flop because they forgot to follow the formula. It was all about He-Man and not his real identity, Prince Adam. Plus going to Earth was a hug flaw. If they would have kept it in Eternia it would have had a massive following. The cast wasn’t half bad though for the film. Dolph Lundgren was a decent He-Man but he just didn’t have an Adam to go with him, and Frank Langella as Skeletor was perfect. Now meet my cast for He-Man and the Masters of the Universe.

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as He-Man

He may have dropped “The Rock” in his name but to some of he will always be the wrestling star turned action hero. He started off in The Mummy Returns and has since made a bunch of silly kiddie films like The Game Plan and Tooth Fairy. But with his badass-ness on the rise with a role in Fast Five and playing Roadblock in the upcoming G.I. Joe: Retaliation, I think The Rock has the look, the muscles, and the acting chops to be the most powerful man in the universe. I just hope he likes the outfit.

Jeremy Sumpter as Prince Adam

I first saw Sumpter in the 2003 version of Peter Pan and was quite impressed with his skill as a childish brat. But then he went on to carry that same quality in his short appearance on one of my new favorite shows, Friday Night Lights. Adam is prince of Eternia who has never had a real problem his whole life. Until Skeletor and his minions show up and Adam has to learn about responsibility and power. It could be a real coming-of-age tale.

Kate Mara as Teela

She’s never really had a major role, just minor ones like in films 127 Hours and Iron Man 2, but she’s moving up in Hollywood with her role in FX Network’s new hit series, American Horror Story. She’s cute, she’s athletic, and she can act; I think. She’d be great opposite Sumpter and Johnson. Much like Margot Kidder played Lois Lane, Teela is over-dominating when it comes to the prince, and head-over-heels for the strong superhero, who just happen to be the same person.

Tom Selleck as Man-At-Arms

It’s Tom F%#king Selleck. I rest my case.

Tilda Swinton as The Sorceress of Castle Grayskull

In the 2002 version Prince Adam is called to Castle Grayskull in midst of a battle and The Sorceress gives him the Power Sword, saying it is his destiny and birthright to become He-Man. The Sorceress is the keeper of all the secrets and powers of Castle Grayskull, and the one thing Skeletor wants most. Swinton in real life seems pretty weird but there is no denying her phenomenal acting ability. She’s played a witch in The Chronicles of Narnia franchise, so why not a sorceress.

Hugo Weaving as Skeletor

Weaving has made his way in this industry with roles like Mr. Smith in The Matrix trilogy, and Elrond the elf in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. But last summer we saw him as the Red Skull in Captain America: The First Avenger. I think he should just keep the skull on, but paint it yellow. We’re talking about an actor who is starting to make it a career of playing great villains. He’s even done the voice of Megatron for all three Transformers films. He can certainly handle the evil Eternia villain whose bark is worse than his bite.

Rose McGowan as Evil-Lyn

I never watched Charmed, I thought Jawbreaker was stupid, but I think McGowan has the look and feel of Evil-Lyn. I always felt like the character was on Skeletor’s side because she was jealous of the Sorceress’s power. In some cases she seemed smarter than Skeletor so I’m not sure why she wasn’t in charge of Beast Man and the other cronies. Although I don’t know if she could do better than Meg Foster in Masters of the Universe; that was pretty much an awesome Evil-Lyn.

So there you have folks; my dream team to bring He-Man back to live action. I would definitely include Orko the magician and not Gwildor who was just a sad excuse for Orko. The obstacle I feel would be Cringer/Battle Cat. I don’t think you could get a real tiger to cooperate, let alone paint him green. However I’m not sure a CGI tiger would be believable, but hey, if they can make CGI apes that scare the crap out of me anything is possible I guess. And now, I end you all with another video treat. Enjoy!

Hulk VS The Incredible Hulk

He’s big, he’s green, and in less than ten years he’s been played by three different actors. Marvel Comics has spent the last decade trying to find the best interpretation for their green goliath and have yet to strike it gold. Ang Lee tried in 2003 with Hulk, and Louis Leterrier in 2008 with The Incredible Hulk, or TIH as I will be referring to it. Now Joss Whedon is supposedly expanding on what Leterrier did with TIH in The Avengers this summer, again with a different actor playing Bruce Banner. These last few days I sat down and watched both Hulk and TIH to try and figure out what went wrong, what went right, and why the hell is Jennifer Connelly so hot?

A director is a captain of a ship on the high seas, and without a good captain things can go aria. Lee seemed to make his adaptation into its own comic book with lots of screen splits that bordered on annoying, Meanwhile, Leterrier played it dark, and almost a little sinister. Both men seemed to be coming from different source material, Leterrier more the 1970’s TV series, and Lee a bit closer to the comic books, but not close enough in my opinion. Neither film had the character of Rick Jones in it, the boy who is basically responsible for Bruce Banner’s condition. Sure his name was flashed in TIH and Bruce saved a young man by absorbing gamma rays in Hulk, but the character wasn’t Rick. If these director’s can’t even get the basics of the character right I’d say there isn’t much hope in the rest of their delivery.

These films had different actors portraying the same characters, and like the films themselves, seemed to be completely different. I will first give a point to Hulk for having Talbot as a character, but must give TIH a point for having Dr. Samson in the film. Both are classic Marvel characters that are related to the source material. My pick for the best General “Thunderbolt” Ross went to Sam Elliot in Hulk. He looked the part spot-on, and William Hurt’s interpretation of the character was all wrong. In the comic books Ross isn’t evil, he’s just angry. His job is to take down Banner because he feels he poses a threat, not to dissect him for personal gain. But Ross does take it personally because the man he hunts is also the love of his daughter’s life. Jennifer Connelly and Liv Tyler played sisters in the film Inventing the Abbotts, and they sure do look the part. This could be a good thing. Similar looks make the audience feel more familiar with a character when played by a different person. While both actress’s I feel did a decent job I think again I’m giving Hulk the win; mainly due to the chemistry between Connelly and her Bruce Banner.

Eric Bana and Edward Norton both bring the brilliant scientist who becomes his own Frankenstein’s monster to the big screen. Bana plays him perfect for Lee’s vision of Hulk. Bana’s Banner is shy and unsure of himself. These built up feelings started a split personality that comes out once exposed to his own gamma radiation. However, if you were to put a picture of Banner in the comic books next to a picture of Norton they would look identical. They both look very skinny and weak, and while Norton’s portrayal does seem more confident, his character has lived with the beast inside him for years, while Bana’s is just coming out. Connelly’s Betty Ross also seemed more confident, which played well off of Bana’s timid Banner. Norton and Tyler didn’t make a bad pair, but I could never see them together off screen. So who wins the battle of the Banner’s? I’ll call this one a tie.

So now to the big guy himself, which SFX team was more incredible? As far as looks I’m going with TIH. Their creation has more definition, a little rougher edges, and he looked kind of mean; which is why I could see why people would be afraid of him. In Hulk he looked more like a green marshmallow. As far as movements I think Hulk hopped around too much, and TIH not enough. At least Hulk got the speed right. TIH did kind of show that the creature can be intelligent, like using cars and metal as weapons, hinting that Banner may still be in there somewhere. Hulk showed that the angrier he gets the bigger and stronger he gets, just like in the comics. But TIH had a much better fight with the Abomination than Hulk did with what, Electric Dad? And while we’re at it, who let Nick Nolte out of his cage long enough to act? Anyway,I think in a fight Hulk may have the edge in strength and speed, but TIH may beat ‘em out in smarts and agility.

TIH was meant to be a sequel for Hulk, but was shifted to its own story, but with a little editing it could easily be thought of as a sequel. My objective in this writing was to figure out which film I liked best. Hulk followed the comics more closely, but obviously TIH fits into the Marvel films universe like it was made to be. I don’t think I’ll ever make up my mind. But maybe Joss, or Master Whedon as I would call him if I ever met him, has something new up his sleeve to please me; which he usually does. Mark Ruffalo has stepped into the shoes of Bruce Banner for this next one, and maybe the third one is a charm. I hope they do find a way to start a successful green franchise because I would love to see grey, red, and the one with Banner’s brain.

The Reality of Running A Comic Book Shop

Every comic book fan has had two thoughts in their head at one point in their lives. The first is the dream of writing their own comic book and actually selling it to a publishing house like Marvel or DC. The other idea they’ve had is similar to one all men have. Instead of ‘we should open a bar’ it is ‘we should open a comic shop.’ I think AMC’s new show, Comic Book Men, is out to prove that like a bar, running a comic book shop is less fun than it sounds.

This reality show takes place at Jay and Silent Bob’s Secret Stash in RedBank, NJ. The store is named after the two characters that made writer/director Kevin Smith famous with such films as Clerks, Mallrats, Dogma, and Chasing Amy. Smith’s friend Walt runs the store along with Ming and Mike. The other gentleman in the show is Bryan, but he is not there to shop or work; he’s just there. In the premiere episode the cast, along with Smith, is podcasting about comics and what has been going on at the store. Meanwhile there are clips of people who try to sell movie and comic related material to Walt and his merry men. This episode featured items like a Chuckie doll, a Dawn of the Dead poster, and a Thor poster by Jack Kirby, the man who first drew and designed a lot of Marvel’s classic characters. In between the selling Walt sends Ming, Mike, and Bryan to a New Jersey flea market on a sales competition.  The winner gets two free weekends off of work. For me, if I’m not working, I’d be at the comic book store anyway.

Now, I am not a fan of reality TV at all. The only time I ever watched an episode of American Idol is when I was trying to get laid, I don’t think anyone will ever find Bigfoot no matter how many seasons you give them, and as hot as the Kardashian sisters are, that family is helping make America’s youth dumber. I gave this show a try because it is Kevin Smith and it’s about something I am passionate about; comics . I liked how Smith and co. narrated the situations and scenarios as they were taking place. It was almost like a nice commentary track on a dvd. These guys aren’t as good looking as some of the people you find on other shows, but I think they’ve got more sense than all seasons of The Real World put together. They’re jokesters, geeks, and pretty much just like me. More than anything I think I enjoyed listening to the podcast topics such as Favorite Horror Movie and Hottest Comic Book Babe.

I grew up watching Kevin Smith films and saw him speak live, twice. He helped shape my mind during those impressionable teen years and I still consider Mallrats one of my favorite comedies of all time. So I’ll give this show 3 out of 5 stars. If you’re not into comic books, or at least know a little bit about the culture, then I think you may want to switch over to E! to see what Ryan Seacrest and his plastic Barbies are up too. I’m going to add this show to my Tivo season pass list; if for no other reason to find out what the hell Bryan does for a living, and how can I do it so I get to hang out in a comic book store all the time.

The Force Will Be With Us, Always

I remember the night my dad took my brother and I to go see our first Star Wars film in theaters. It was 1997, the film was Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope, Special Edition. It was a late showing and the theater was packed. In the months following I would see Episodes V and VI as well. Skip ahead two years and I remember waiting anxiously to get off of school for the day because my dad and I were going to see Episode I on opening day. George Lucas was bringing us the next round of Star Wars films, and man were people pissed after they saw it. But everyone still went and saw two more films after Jar Jar Binks annoyed the crap out of them. I love Star Wars, always have. When I a kid I would fake sick because I wanted to stay home and not go to school. And after sleeping in I would always watch The Empire Strikes Back. To this day I consider it one of best films of all time. Now, 13 years later Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace is back on the big screen, in 3-D.

I’ve always tried to keep up on everything Star Wars. Books, comic books, cartoons; I always wanted to be in the loop. My wife to this day complains about how many lightsabers I own. A few weeks ago I had what you might call a crisis of faith. I know I watch a lot of TV, it’s my thing. But I decided to cut back a bit in hopes that it might inspire me to do other things like reading, writing, or exercise more. So I deleted about 5 shows off my Tivo, one of which was Star Wars: The Clone Wars. It was a show I thought it was decent, but I only watched it really because it was Star Wars. After a few days of thinking I realized, I had to still watch it, because it’s Star Wars.

Star Wars is the story of good vs. evil, right and wrong, and the underdog winning in the end. It’s a rich saga full of great morals and characters that taught a whole generation about possibilities in and outside of film making. I could go into more detail, but it’s probably better if you just watch the History Channel special, Star Wars: The Legacy Revealed, on YouTube. I may be too old for Star Wars: The Clone Wars, but this franchise is something I’ve always stayed true to, always enjoyed, and could be the one commitment that last my entire life.

A lot of fans may complain that Lucas ruined something special by making the prequels and special editions, but guess what people, you’re no George Lucas! He is a man who did something rare in this world; he completed his vision exactly how he wanted it. If other people don’t like it then stop buying the newest DVD edition every other year! I don’t watch the special editions, and I hate Jar Jar Binks, but that hasn’t stopped me from having a marathon at least once a year. I own all SEVEN Star Wars films, blu-ray counter parts, and bought more posters that I can think of in my life. I’m not in a rush to go see Episode I in 3-D, mainly because I am disappointed it won’t be IMAX 3-D, but I still plan on seeing it soon. My only wish is that I had a 6-12 year-old son to take to go see it for the first time. If I’ve never said it before, thanks for that dad.

It’s been almost 40 years since the original Star Wars came out in theaters and it’s still going strong with re-releases, new books, new comic books, new tv series, and from what I saw at Target today, still dominating the toy aisle. It’s a tale of fantasy that can be watched with the whole family, and those are some of the best kinds of films. I mean come on people, it’s either Episode I in 3-D or Channing Tatum in The Vow this weekend. I think we know what the better movie experience will be, even if you’ve seen Episode I ten times.

My Top 12 Comics of 2011

Last week I was eager to see CBR's conclusion of their Top 100 Comic Books of 2011, and like most things in 2011 it was a major let down. Their Top 10 list had me baffeled, and the Top 25 was not that great either. Sure there were a titles I thought deserved their spot, but Action Comics should be no where near the top. I've been mostly indifferent to DC's New 52, but what they did to Superman is what Marvel did to Spider-Man in Brand New Day. They erased 20 years of history just try and draw in few new fans, and as a fan who as been reading Superman for almost 20 years they completely turned me away. He's now the emo-version of what Superman should be, like Superman: Earth One, or "the Twilight Superman" as I call it. I think DC's best titles where the ones they either tweaked a little or left completely alone; however I am enjoying Johns and Lee's Justice League, but I don't see myself collecting it long-term.

Over at Marvel they've wrapped up Fear Itself and X-Men: Schism and are preparing for this summer's X-Men vs. Avengers mini-series. I think it's safe to say everyone is looking forward to the summer blockbuster, which just happens to kick-off right when Joss Whedon's Avengers will come to theaters. While I admit that I mainly follow the titles in these two publishing companies I make sure to check out what Wildstorm, Dark Horse, IDW, and all the other comic book publishers are up too. So here are my top picks for 2011.

12) Green Lantern

Back in 2004 Geoff Johns took over has writer for Green Lantern and his first decision was to bring back the man without fear, Hal Jodan. Ever since Green Lantern has been one of DC's best selling titles and one of the hottest comics books in the industry. Even though Johns has moved up as DC's Chief Creative Officer he's still writing the ring slinger and still making it kick-ass. 2011 brought us the end of Brightest Day and brought on the War of the Green Lanterns where the four human Lanterns had to each don a different colored ring in order to stop Kronas, a former Guardian. And how was Hal Jordan rewarded for his bravery? He was cast out of the GL Corps while the Corps most hated enemy, Sinestro, was chosen to wear a green ring of willpower once again. Sinestro now seeks Hal Jordan's help in freeing his homeworld from the Yellow Lantern Corps he created.

Johns is never at his best when he writing Hal Jordan and Sinestro in the same scene. The two characters are oppositie sides of the same coin and bounce dialogue off each other like a perfect game of ping pong. Johns promises more surprises and twist to the Green Lantern mythology in 2012 and I for one can't wait to see the emerald sparks fly!

11) Uncanny X-Force

At the end of Second Coming Cyclops disbanded the secret killing squad known as X-Force, but Wolverine was never one to follow Scott’s orders. Together with Angel’s help Wolverine and his crew continued in secret the work that X-Men shouldn’t. They started off hunting the heir of Apocalypse, a mere child, and Fantomex put a bullet in that child’s head. This started a reaction inside Angel that triggered him to be the next heir of Apocalypse, so X-Force then ventured to the Age of Apocalypse to find the life seed to stop Warren’s transformation.

It’s been a wild ride this year for X-Force. Logan had to deal with seeing the AoA versions of not only Jean Grey and Nightcrawler, but also he had to see himself as AoA’s ultimate villain. After Fantomex shot the child Apocolaypse he cloned another and raised it in a simulated ‘Clark Kent” lifestyle hoping to make some good of the boy. At the same time he was trying to steal Psylocke away from Warren, the very friend they were trying to save. Wolverine doesn’t like putting kids in harm’s way like Cyclops does, but he has no problem putting the veterans threw the ringer.

10) Wolverine and the X-Men

Following the event of Schism Wolverine is looking to put Xavier’s dream back on track with Jean Grey’s School for Gifted Youngsters. Boy, that must piss-off Cyclops, Jean’s widower, really bad. In the first storyline of the year we’ve seen Logan joined by Kitty, Beast, Iceman, and Rachel Summers in their first true test when the school is attacked by the new Hellfire Club during the school’s evaluation. Through the help of the students, and a new side of Iceman we’ve never seen, Wolverine and the bunch took down their enemies by only destroying half the school; and classes haven’t even started yet.

I hope writer Jason Aaron keeps showing us the quirks of a school that is full of rebellious, super-powered, kids. With Chris Bachalo’s pencil leading the way I feel something special when I read this comic, like new territory is being explored when some comics are too afraid to shake the status quo. But Logan and the faculty have no idea what they’re getting into.

9) Aquaman

When Geoff Johns brought Arthur Curry back from the dead at the end of Blackest Night we didn’t know that he was actually bringing the character back to life on a much grander scale. In Brightest Day Aquaman was reborn as a bad-ass after being the joke of DC Universe for years. The Aqua-Family is back in the water and is picking up more momentum than a tsunami. In only a few issues Johns has had Aquaman and his wife, Mera, battle sea demons from the darkest reaches of the oceans while re-introducing Arthur’s orgins to people who are not that familiar with the character.

Johns has brought back Hal Jordan, Barry Allen, and now Arthur Curry and made them all successes. I always thought Aquaman got a bum rap due to the 1970’s cartoon, Superfriends, and I love that comic book readers everywhere are eating their words and are excited to talk about the King of Atlantis. 2012 is going to be Aquaman’s year!

8) Superior

Sometimes I can hardly believe the stuff that comes out of Mark Millar’s mind, Superior is the story about Simon, a boy with multiple sclerosis, who makes a wish to become a super hero, but it comes at the price of his soul. The same demon offers his bully the same deal, and he accepts. Now Simon must decide if his soul is worth the price of saving the world.

Millar has brought us such twisted hits like Nemesis and Kick-Ass and continues to shock the comic community like no other. Superior is just another step Millar’s ability to turn a good story. He taps into the comic geek in all of us and just lets us have our greatest dreams. Well done Mr. Millar, well done.

7) Venom

Flash Thompson spent is high school life picking on Peter Parker while idolizing Spider-Man, ironic eh? Inspired by his hero, Flash joined the army and lost his legs in the process, and now has agreed to part of a top secret government project where he joins with the same alien symbiote that turned Spider-Man dark and created some of his greatest villains like the original Venom and Carnage.

This title is about a good man trying to the right thing with the wrong tools. Flash is a great leading character with lots of tragedy, but still lots of heart.  Flash must balance his secret life with his love life, and fight the darkness the symbiote is trying to bring out in him.

6) Transformers: Chaos

Optimus Prime and the Autobots are not only blowing up the big screen these days, but also comic book stores everywhere. IDW has been publishing Transformer comics for a while now and it all has lead to their big storyline; Chaos. This comic leads to the Autobots being seriously outnumbered by the Decepticons. Galvitron is out to kill the Autobots once and for all, Megatron stands trial for millions of years of crime, and the fate of Rodimus, the Matrix, and Optimus Prime is all revealed in this massive story that is more than meets the eye.

5) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Cowabunga kids! The heroes in a half shell are back, but not like you know them. The TMNT creator, Kevin Eastman, is returning the turtles to their roots. They’ve got more attitude than their cartoon counter parts and fight a little more dirty, just like when they first premiered in comics. And just like the original title they all have red bandanas, for a while at least.  Eastman has brought the flair back to what made the turtles popular to begin with. For fans who grew up on TMNT this more adult version is right up our alley. Plus the true origins of the turtles all revealed. Turtle Power!

4) X-Men: Schism

Ever since House of M the mutant species has been dwindling, and Cyclops has stepped up as leader of his race with Wolverine has his general to enforce the law. But in Schism we saw the two men finally break their truce as Wolverine no longer liked how Scott was running the show. Cyclops believes mutants of all ages should learn to defend themselves and fight the people who are trying to kill them. Wolverine believes that kids should be kids, not killers; and wanted to restart the school in order to teach them and give them a choice when they’re older. Of course all of this was done after a slugfest between the two mutants.

House of M, Endangered Species, Messiah Complex, Second Coming, and now Schism. The X-Men have had quite the decade of trouble, and it only is going to get deep in their upcoming battle with the Avengers. Sides have been chosen and lines have been drawn, but when the World’s Greatest Heroes face the mutants who are sworn to protect a world that fears and hates them I only have one question; whose side is Wolverine and his team going to be on?

3) Batman and Robin

I’ve never been a big fan of Grant Morrison, but when this title first started I don’t think it could have been more entertaining. A rebellious Robin in the form of Damian Wayne was just the pain-in-the-ass Dick Grayson needed to keep him in line as the new Batman. Now Bruce has returned to reclaim his cowl and he has to find out how to be a father.

Peter Tomasi has taken the father/son relationship to the next level as Bruce and Damian try to find common ground. With Alfred trying to guide Bruce in the ways of raising a troubled youth the dynamic is just off the page. Greek tragedies even aren’t this good.

2) Brilliant

From the team that brought you Ultimate Spider-Man comes the first creator-owned book by Brian Michael Bendis and Mark Bagley. Brilliant is the story of a handful of college-age geniuses who challenge each other to solve the mystery of superpowers. Can the best and brightest change science fiction into science fact? And if so, how will the world at large react? Brilliant is a story of how true power can either destroy or protect the strongest of friendships. It is the story of how the world will react when our true potential is finally unlocked. The series is full of fast-talking, whip-smart, dialogue and is a fanboys delight. And it’s only just begun!

1) Marvel’s Fear Itself

Sibling rivalries are tough on a family, especially when they’re gods. The Red Skull’s daughter finds a magical hammer in Antarctica that grants her the powers of Skadi and releases the true ruler of Asgard, the god of fear; Serpent.  Formerly known as Odin’s brother and Thor’s uncle. The Serpant helps more hammers fall and chaos ensues on our heroes. Skadi kills Bucky Barnes which forces Steve to reclaim his role as the one true Captain America, and in the end Thor sacrifices his life to save Asgard and Earth.

One thing I love about Thor comics is their epic scale. The Marvel writing team, lead by Matt Fraction and Ed Brubaker, create a tale that can barely be imagined it’s so grand. Of course a personal treat was seeing Tony Stark kick-ass with some Asgardian armor. Too bad he had to give it back though.