My Top 12 Third Film Franchise Movies

When the phenomenon known as Twilight hit theaters teenage girls everywhere swooned to the pale skin of Robert Pattinson. I took this as a time to show these teenie boppers what real vampire films are supposed to be, and listed by top 12 vampire films-of-all-time. A year later the sequel to Twilight, New Moon came out, and the same fans got to see Taylor Lautner all buffed up, but still sounding like he hadn’t hit puberty. I took this as another opportunity to speak my mind and had a monster showdown with some of favorite vampires and werewolves from television and films. The great showdown ended with Blade coming out victorious over Michael from the Underworld franchise.

Now with the third Twilight film weeks away from opening I struggled to find something to write about. Then I remembered an even bigger third film is coming out before Eclipse; Toy Story 3. I loved the first two Toy Story films and can’t wait to see what Wood and Buzz have been up too since we last saw them. That revelation led me to think of my top 12 third film franchise movies. Now if history has shown us anything it’s that the third film destroys the franchise 95% of the time. However, if done right, they can make all three films look like one-giant-mega-saga. I’m not saying my 12 picks do that, or are even that great, but to me these are the lesser of all the other evils.

12) Child’s Play 3 (1991): At the end of Child’s Play 2 we saw Chucky get melted and chopped up into gew at the Good Guy doll factory. But Chucky’s blood just got put into another doll, and years later came back for his little buddy Andy. However Andy was no longer a kid, but a teenager in military school. A psychotic doll in a school full of guns; tell me that tagline doesn’t sell itself? Andy has to be the hero now and stop Chucky’s killing spree before he can find another child whose body to take over.

I like this film because Andy was the victim in the first two films. He was helpless and had to rely on others to save him from Chucky, but now he has to step up and be his own man. Andy has to face down the thing that terrified him as a child. I find it very symbolic as Andy reaches the end of his hero’s journey. He just has to stop Chucky from killing his friends, switching paintball bullets with real ones, and try to get the school’s tough girl to fall in love with him. “Oh Andy, my how you’ve grown.”

11) D3: The Mighty Ducks (1996): After winning the Junior Good Will Games against Iceland the ducks return home to find scholarships to a Minnesota prep school waiting for them. Unfortunately the varsity team looks to make their lives a living hell, and Bombay isn’t going to be there to help them through those rough high school years.

The Mighty Duck movies are why I first started loving hockey, and probably a lot of people my age as well. Gordon had his movies, and now in this film Charlie has to overcome his obstacles, like dealing with the new coach, trying to lead his friends, and not failing out of school. This isn’t the pee-wee leagues anymore; which means the pranks aren’t amateurish either. The first film was by far the best of the trilogy, but I’d put this one over the sequel any day. It’s a whole new game as the ducks head into this third period of play.

10) Blade Trinity (2004): But wait you say; this film sucks! Sure the third film wasn’t as hard core, or as enticing, as its predecessors; but let’s look at it from another angle. Forget the fact this is a Blade film and just remember how funny Ryan Reynolds was, and just how hot Jessica Biel looked when she kicked-ass. Now do you get where I’m coming from? To me this film just needed to forget Blade and have a Nightstalker’s film. Reynolds and Biel hunt down Dracula while trying to end the vampire disease? That could have been a lot more interesting than the broody black guy looking to kill more vampires. I rest my case.

9) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Turtles in Time (1993): The second film I feel was far more inferior than the first TMNT film. I think mainly because it was fluffed up with characters like Keno and tried to be too funny. In the third film Corey Fieldman returns as the voice of Donatello as the fab four head back to ancient Japan to rescue April, and stop an evil samuri empire. Along the way Michelangelo falls in love, Raphael meets someone with a worse temper than he, and Casey Jones is stuck in the present babysitting ancient samuri warriors. It’s a shell of a good time.

There are only so many times you can see the turtles take down the Shredder, so it was refreshing to see the guys have a new adventure. While this film is not as badass as the first film the jokes are a lot better than the second. It’s been reported that the turtles on their way to another live-action movie soon. Cowabunga says it all!

8) The Bourne Ultimatum (2007): After his love interest was killed in the second film the Bourne films take a detour from the books, but nobody who watched movies seemed to mind. In the third installement a reporter is looking to undercover the truth about Treadstone, the agency that made Jason a killer. However it was a set-up and now the CIA is looking to take Bourne down once again. Meanwhile CIA operative Pamela Landy, played by Joan Allen, is helping to piece together Jason’s life.

I like this film because it interweaves with the second film making it all one big story. The first film is still the best, but this one goes into more depth about who Bourne is, and how he became the CIA’s best assassin. Character depth is always one of my favorite things about stories, and this film has it. I just hope the next Bourne film comes out before Matt Damon has too many grey hairs.

7) Naked Gun: 33 1/3: The Final Insult (1994): Leslie Neilsen is back as Frank Drebin of the Police Squad. However Frank has given up his dangerous life to start a family with his wife, played by Priscilla Presley. But when someone threatens to blow up the Academy Award Frank is the only man for the job.

For Airplane to Dracula: Dead and Loving It, anything Leslie Neilson does is hilarious. O.J. Simpson returns to co-star in this film before his famous Branco high speed chase. If you’re looking for a solid, funny, trilogy then these films are the ones than can hold their own. The late Ann-Nicole Smith even makes a cameo as a woman who tries to seduce Frank. Speaking from one man to another I don’t see that being an issue.

6) Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (2005): Ok, so most people think the Star Wars prequels suck, but let’s at least agree that Episode III was the best of the prequels? This was the film that Star Wars fans waited 20 years for, and I for one was only mildy disappointed. From the moment Order 66 was given I thought the film was flawless, especially the Obi-Wan vs. Anakin lightsaber duel. Yes, I even disagree that Vader’s sissy cry was fine. The guy just thought he killed his wife, what was he supposed to do say, “whatever”, and then go about his day?   Sure Anakin’s still whiny, but to quote Kevin Smith, “That’s who the galaxies greatest villain would be. He’d start out as an emo kid with some issues.”

The Star Wars prequel’s was the story about how a good man, with good intentions, turns bad. The prequels may not have been what uber-dorks wanted from their Star Wars, but when you’ve got as much money as George Lucas has you can make films that you want to see, and that’s what he did. That makes him a pimp in my book.

5) Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2009): I think any Underworld fan can agree that this prequel does not disappoint. In the third installment we find out how the war between vampires and lycans (or werewolves) began. It started as a Romeo and Juliet love story, only with vampires and werewolves. Rhona Mitra takes over as the badass beauty for Kate Beckinsale, while Michael Sheen reprises his role as Lucian, the lycan leader. Acting great Bill Nighy also returns as the vampire we love to hate, Victor.

Underworld fans knew the story of how the blood feud began, but this film helps add more detail and personality to the faces of the legend. I’m a fan of medieval films; films that have horse riding and sword fighting. I’m also a fan of vampire and werewolf films. Put those all together in one movie and you’ve got a movie sandwich I’m going to eat up.

4) Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (2003): As I sat in the theater and watched this film there were about six times I got out of my seat towards the end because I thought the movie was over. By the fourth time it was like prom night; just give me a happy ending so I can go home. The ending to this colossal trilogy may have dragged but the film itself was awesome. Frodo and Sam finally make it to Mt. Doom in hopes of destroying the ring before it takes over Frodo completely. Meanwhile, Aragorn must step up to claim the throne of Gondor before Sauron’s forces can destroy the kingdom.

I could make fun of these films till I don’t any more oxygen left, but they really are good films, and a nice way to kill a day; or perhaps a weekend if you watch the extended editions. Return of the King helps put everything to rest, and has some really cool action sequences. Although I was always more interested in the relationship between Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli than Frodo and the ring.  This film aslo gives me my favorite line in the entire trilogy. When Aragorn walks up to the hobbits and says, “My friends, you bow before no one.” Well done Mr. Jackson, well done.

3) National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989): They went across America, they traveled through Europe, but the Griswold’s greatest adventure was in their own front yard. As the family welcomes relatives from all over Clark tries to stay in the Christmas spirit as the holiday slowing tumbles down around him. His Christmas lights won’t work, his tree goes up in flames, and his annoying cousin just won’t seem to leave.

Anyone who has seen this film knows it’s a must watch during the Christmas season. There are some many great scenes and lines I can’t even begin to say them all. Let’s also remember that this was the beginning of two young careers, Juliette Lewis and Johnny Galecki, better known as Leonard from The Big Bang Theory.

2) Back to the Future Part III (1990): My friend Andrew and I once agreed that these last two are the only solid film trilogies that are all great to watch. However, I think we can probably now throw Lord of the Rings into the mix to make it a trinity. When we last left Marty McFly he was stuck in 1955 after seeing the Doc electrocuted and sent back to 1885. As Marty finds Doc from 1955 and prepares to go back to 1985 he finds out that Doc of 1885 is shot violently, and so Marty must go back to save his old friend. Still following the timeline ok? Marty goes back to the old west where he has to learn how to ride a horse, win a shoot-out, and not let his ancestors think he’s a chicken. Meanwhile, Doc isn’t looking to head back to 1985 as he falls in love with a school teacher, played by Mary Steenburgen.

Luckily with some help from a hoverboard it all turns out alright. These films are one of the best to watch all in a row because each picks up exactly where the other left off. The first film is again superior to the last two, but people always seem to argue which of the last two Back to the Future films is better. My money is on this one. Who wants to challenge?

1) Star Wars: Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (1983): There is a reason they call it “The Trilogy.” Because it’s the greatest one there is, and I swear if any LOTR geeks give me grief I will start quoting Clerks 2. In the final episode of the Star Wars saga Luke must figure out what to do with the knowledge that Darth Vader is his father, and he must do it without the help of Master Yoda. But before his confrontation with Vader and the Emperor, Luke must save his friends from the clutches of the gangster, Jabba the Hutt. It’s the final battle for the galaxy, and not everyone is making it out alive.

This film isn’t as gritty as Episode V, but it’s more serious than Episode IV. Luke is no longer a whiny character; he’s a Jedi badass. Sure there are a lot of muppets in this film, but it’s got character revelations, dire situations, and Leia in an iron bikini. How could Star Wars fans not want more after this film ended?

As always I'm open for critcism and comments on what you think of my list.  Will Eclipse and Toy Story 3 help continue their franchises glory, or will they turn them towards what I call Superman and Batman territory?  We'll find out in a few weeks!  Until then, may the force be with us all.